"Things Not To Say To Your New Girlfriend's Parents" 1. My parole officer thinks Sara has a calming effect on me. 2. Did you see that saucer that flew over town yesterday? 4. Can you believe it! Those idiots at the corner market won't cash my welfare check! 5. We're going to keep our relationship quiet for now. My wife can be rather vindictive at times. 6. Those home pregnancy kits aren't very reliable in my opinion. 8. Nice place you got here. That painting looks expensive. I bet a nice home like this came with a safe already built in, didn't it? 9. There ain't nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara's will be okay, too. 10. Can I pull my car in your garage? I'm not sure how long that cop car will stay lost.