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Things for Woof to remember

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by pesticidal, Nov 1, 2002.

  1. pesticidal

    pesticidal Eh? CLM

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    North Dakota
    • I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
    • The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
    • I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
    • I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
    • I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
    • I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
    • I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
    • I will not throw up in the car.
    • I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
    • I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
    • "Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
    • I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
    • The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
    • I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.
    • I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
    • I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
    • When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
    • We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
    • I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
    • The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
    • My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
    • I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.


    :)
     
  2. glockchick35

    glockchick35

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  3. kentley

    kentley

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    pesticidal,

    Gotta love the smell of 2-4-D in the morning.

    GA Pesticide Applicator Licence Catagory 24.