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The Year 2029

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Skyhook, Jan 18, 2005.

  1. Skyhook


    Likes Received:
    Nov 4, 2002
    kinda cute

    In the year 2029....

    * Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking

    * Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia (formerly known as California).

    * White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

    * Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

    * Constitutional Amendment passed that allows illegal aliens to run for U. S. President.

    * Baby conceived naturally . . . scientists stumped.

    * Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

    * Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the ATM (the American Territory of the Middle East, formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

    * Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

    * France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica.

    * George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

    * Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

    * 85-year, $75.8 billion study finds: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss!!!

    * Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

    * Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

    * Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

    * Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

    * Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

    * New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

    * Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

    * Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

    * IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

    * Florida Democrats still don't know how to use a voting machine.
  2. pablo04092

    pablo04092 Rat Fink

    Likes Received:
    Aug 11, 2003
    more than a couple are almost believable.