The perfect man is gentle Never cruel or mean He has a beautiful smile And keeps his face so clean. The perfect man likes children And will raise them by your side. He will be a good father As well as a good husband to his bride The perfect man loves cooking Cleaning and vacuuming too. He'll do anything in his power To show his love to you. The perfect man is sweet, Writing poetry from your name. He's a best friend to your mother And kisses away your pain. He has never made you cry Or hurt you in any way. Oh, "to hell with this stupid poem," "Cause the perfect man is gay!"