THE NEW RABBIT A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing that enclosed the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the sun coming up for the first time in his life. "Wow, this is terrific," he thought to himself. It wasn't long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it he saw the wonderful sight lots of wild cottontail rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass. "Hey," he called. "I'm a rabbit from the laboratory and I've just escaped. Are you really wild rabbits?" "Yes we are, come and join us," they cried. The lab rabbit hopped over to them and started eating the grass. It tasted so good. "What else do you wild rabbits do?" he asked. "Well," one of them said. "You see that field there? It's got carrots growing in it. We pull them up and eat them." This he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful. Later, he asked them again, "What else do you do?" "You see that field there? It's got lettuce growing in it. We eat them as well." The lettuce was equally delicious and he returned a while later completely full. "Is there anything else you guys do?" he asked. One of the other rabbits came a bit closer to him and spoke softly. "There's one other thing you must try. You see those rabbits there," he said, pointing to the far corner of the field. "They're girl cottontails. We shag them. Go and try it." Well, the lab rabbit spent the rest of the morning shagging his little heart out until, completely shagged out, he staggered back over to the guys. "That was terrific," he panted. "So are you going to live with us then?" one of them asked. "I'm sorry, I had a great time but I can't." All of the wild cottontail rabbits all stared at him in total astonishment, disbelief and a bit surprised. "Why? We thought you liked it here." "I do, I really do," our friend replied, "but I must get back to the laboratory. I'm just dying for a cigarette."