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The New Diet

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by StoneGiant, Aug 15, 2006.

  1. StoneGiant

    StoneGiant

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    The New Diet

    I was in Wal-Mart buying a bag of dog food for my Maltese (Brutus) and was in line to check out.

    A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

    On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Dog Food diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I had ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again.

    I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

    Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.

    I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

    I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
     
  2. DonGlock26

    DonGlock26

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  3. 9mmMike

    9mmMike The Fun-Police Millennium Member

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    That's terrible. I hope you're better now.
     
  4. ChuteTheMall

    ChuteTheMall Wallbuilder and Weapon Bearer

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  5. tnoisaw

    tnoisaw

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    :rofl:
     
  6. rayetter

    rayetter

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    You owe me a keyboard :laughabove:
     
  7. quick

    quick what, me worry?

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    ha ha haha ha!

    that's some funny stuff! sure made my day! :supergrin: