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The New A,B, C's

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockrunner, Feb 14, 2006.

  1. Glockrunner

    Glockrunner HOOYA DEEPSEA

    Likes Received:
    Sep 10, 2001
    A is for apple, and B is for Boat,
    that used to be right, but now it won't float.
    Age before beauty is what we once said,
    but let's be a bit more realistic instead.

    Now, A's for arthritis; B's the bad back,
    C is for chest pains, perhaps cardiac.
    D is for dental decay and decline;
    E is for eyesight, can't read that top line.

    F is for fissures and fluid retention,
    G is for gas, which I'd rather not mention.
    H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
    I for incisions with scars you can show.

    J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend.
    K is for knees that crack when they bend.
    L for libido, what happened to sex?
    M is for memory, I forget! What comes next?

    N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
    O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!
    P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
    Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new.

    Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
    R for reflux, one meal turns to two.
    S for sleepless nights, counting my fears.
    T for tinnitus; there's bells in my ears.

    U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
    V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy" you know.
    W is for worry, NOW what's going round?
    X is for X-ray, and what might be found.

    Y is another year I'm left here behind,
    Z is for zest that I still have--in my mind.

    I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
    And I've kept twenty-six doctors fully employed!!