The Missionary

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockrunner, Jun 28, 2002.

  1. Glockrunner

    Glockrunner HOOYA DEEPSEA

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    Sep 10, 2001
    A missionary met a lion as he was walking from one village to another.

    The missionary fell to his knees and buried his face in his hands. Nothing seemed to be happening; the lion was silent.

    The missionary peeped through his fingers and saw the lion on its knees, its face buried in his paws.

    The missionary in a trembling voice, “I am praying to be delivered from the jaws of death. But what on earth are you doing?”

    The lion growled, “I’m saying grace.”
  2. HankB

    HankB Guest

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    Dec 17, 2001
    A young missionary was walking through the forest with a native chief - he was teaching the chief English. The chief would point to something like a rock, and say "Ugh. What that?" to which the missionary would reply "Rock." The chief would respond "Ugh. Rock."

    Being a quick study, the chief was picking up his English vocabulary very quickly.

    Upon rounding a bend, the pair heard some . . . unusual . . . sounds from behind a clump of bushes. The chief parts the bushes and motions "come here" to the missionary. "Ugh. What that?" asks the chief, pointing through the gap he'd opened.

    Much to his dismay, the missionary sees that he and the chief have come upon a young couple making mad, passionate love, so involved in one another that they don't notice they have an audience. This is something well outside the young missionary's experience, so, rather flustered, he blurts out "Man riding bicycle."

    The chief says "Ugh. Man riding bicycle." And takes his spear and kills the man and woman dead!

    The missionary is horrified, and screams at the chief "WHY DID YOU DO THAT! THEY WEREN'T HURTING ANYONE?"

    The chief calmly wipes off his spear, looks the young missionary in the eye, and says "Ugh. Mad riding MY bicycle!"