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The Lone Ranger and Tonto

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by nipperwolf, Jun 13, 2003.

  1. nipperwolf

    nipperwolf

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    > > > > > The Lone Ranger and Tonto were camping in the desert, sound asleep
    > > > > > in their tent. In the wee hours the Lone Ranger wakes his faithful
    > > > > > friend.
    > > > > > "Tonto, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
    > > > > > Tonto replies, "I see millions of stars."
    > > > > > "What does that tell you"; asks The Lone Ranger.
    > > > > > Tonto ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it
    > > > > > tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially
    > > > > > billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is
    > > > > > in Leo.
    > > > > > Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
    > > > > > Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful, and we are
    > > > > > small and insignificant.
    > > > > > Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day
    > > > > > tomorrow...What's it tell you, Kemosabe?"
    > > > > > The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, gently shakes his head,
    > > > > > then says,
    > > > > > "Tonto, you dumb butt ! , someone has stolen our tent!"
    > > > > >
     
  2. StoneGiant

    StoneGiant

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    The Lone Ranger and Tonto are out on patrol. As they move out of an arroyo ("gulch", for you Yankees), they look up.

    On the hill to their immediate left, there are 1,000 Indians. On the hill to their immediate right, there are 2,000 Indians. On the hill in front of them, there are 5,000 Indians.

    "Tonto!" cries the Masked Man. "What are we going to do?!?"

    Tonto evaluates the situation, turns to the Lone Ranger, and replies:

    "Uggh... What you mean We, Kimosabe?"