The Laws Of Life

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by pupcuss27, Aug 6, 2007.

  1. pupcuss27

    pupcuss27 CLM

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    THE LAWS OF LIFE

    & Law of Mechanical Repair

    After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

    & Law of the Workshop

    Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

    & Law of Probability

    The probability of being watch is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

    & Law of the Telephone

    If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal

    & Law of the Alibi

    If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

    & Variation Law

    If you change lines (or traffic liens), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

    & Law of the Bath

    When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

    & Law of Close Encounters

    The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

    & Law of the Result

    When you try to prove to someone that a chine won't work, it will.

    & Law of Biomechanics

    The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    & Law of the Theatre

    At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

    & Law of Coffee

    As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

    & Murphy's Law of Lockers

    If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

    & Law of Rugs/Carpets

    The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpeting/rug.

    & Law of Location

    No matter where you go, there you are.

    & Law of Logical Argument

    Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

    & Brown's Law

    If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

    & Oliver's Law

    A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    & Wilson's Law

    As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. (This one is true every time!)

    & Doctor's Law

    If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.