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The Irish

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Nov 4, 2002.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Muskogee Ok.
    Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom
    to invade next when his telephone rang.
    "Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice
    said. "'Tis is Paddy up in County Cavan, Ireland. I am
    ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring
    war on the bloody Iraquis!"
    "Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "this is indeed important
    news! Tell me, how big is your army?"
    "At this moment in time," said Paddy after a moment's
    calculation, "'tis meself, me cousin Sean, me next door
    neighbor Gerry, and the entire dominoes team from the
    pub -- that makes eight!"
    Saddam sighed. "I must tell you Paddy that I have a
    million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
    "Begorrah!" said Paddy, "I'll have to bloody well ring
    you back!"
    Sure enough, the next day Paddy rang back. "Right Mr.
    Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire
    some equipment!"
    "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.
    "Well, we have two combine harvesters, a bulldozer and
    Murphy's tractor from the farm and a manure spreader
    from up in county Glen."
    Once more Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I
    have sixteen thousand tanks, fourteen thousand armoured
    personnel carriers, and my army has increased to two
    million men since we last spoke."
    "Really?" said Paddy "I'll have to ring you back!"
    Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Right,
    Mr. Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to
    call off the war."
    "I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden
    change of heart?"
    "Well," said Paddy "We've had a wee peek at the Geneva
    Convention, all had a chat, and there's no way me 'n
    tha' lads at the pub can feed two million prisoners."