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The Hypnotic Sermon!

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Aug 10, 2003.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Oct 28, 2001
    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the
    collection plates each Sunday. Someone suggested to him that
    perhaps he might be able to hypnotize the congregation into giving
    more.

    "And just how would I go about doing that?" he asked.

    "It is very simple. First you turn off the air conditioner so that
    the auditorium is warmer than usual. Then you preach in a monotone
    voice. Meanwhile, you dangle a watch on a chain and swing it in a
    slow arc above the lectern and suggest they put 20 dollars in the
    collection plate."

    So the very next Sunday, the reverend did as suggested, and lo and
    behold, the plates were full of 20 dollar bills! Now, the preacher
    did not want to take advantage of this technique each and every
    Sunday. So therefore, he waited for a couple of weeks and then tried
    his mass hypnosis again.

    Just as the last of the congregation was becoming mesmerized, the
    chain on the watch broke and the watch hit the lectern with a loud
    thud and springs and parts flew everywhere. "Crap!" exclaimed the
    pastor.

    It took them a week to clean up the church.