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The Great Clown Joke

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Remander, Jan 25, 2005.

  1. Remander

    Remander

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    Location:
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    The Great Clown Joke

    Once upon a time, a young man went to the circus. He
    was very excited, as he lived in a little town in
    North Louisiana and had never seen a circus before;
    the kind of town where the mayor runs the local gas
    station. Anyway, as circus days drew nigh, the young
    man grew ever more excited. He arrived before dawn to
    get the best seat in the house, and was seated hours
    before the first trapeze act.

    Finally, the trapeze artists gave an awe-inspiring
    performance, the elephants danced, and the lion tamer
    tamed. At last, the clowns came out in full regalia
    and green hair. They rode around by the dozen in a
    purple Volkswagen. The Volksie pulled up to center of
    the ring, and an overweight clown with orange hair,
    acne, and a purple nose advanced to the podium:

    "Will the person in section A, row Y, seat 42 please
    stand up?"

    The young man looked at his ticket, and to his
    surprise, he was sitting in that very seat. The young
    man stood up.

    Clown sez, "Wellllll, there's the horse's ass, now
    where's the rest of the horse?"

    The man, dumbfounded, stood for a moment, then made
    his way quickly through crowd and out of the tent.
    Returning home, the man wept for days, and mourned the
    loss of dignity and honor. Eventually reason overcame
    his grief and the man grew determined. "I'm not going
    to get mad, I'm going to get even, and avenge the
    honor of myself, my family, and this town," exclaimed
    the man. He picked up the curriculum guide for
    Lousiana State University (LSU) correspondence courses
    and started to read.

    Eventually his eyes came to rest on an advertisement
    for a class in "Quick Wit Retort." "Learn how to use
    those snappy comebacks to your advantage, now!"

    So the man sent in his $19.95 and soon received the
    course materials. In a few weeks, the man mastered the
    materials, and sent his final exam back to LSU for
    grading.

    Much to his surprise, a registered letter arrived from
    the chancellor of LSU. It read:

    Dear Sir: We are utterly flabbergasted at your
    performance in Quick Wit Retort 101. We would be most
    gratified if you could come to LSU to complete your
    degree with our fine academic institution. Here's a
    check to cover your expenses.

    To make a long story short, the man made straight A's
    in the QWR program. He was awarded numerous
    distinctions, and when he graduated, the graduation
    speaker, John Ashcroft, awarded the man the
    Presidential Medal of Outstanding Quick Wit Retort,
    signed by W himself!

    Some days afterward, Harvard University sent a Learjet
    to pick the man up for an interview. The graduate
    admissions officer didn't mince words. "If you
    complete our masters/doctoral tenured track program in
    QWR, you will never have to worry about money again,"
    said he. Needless to say, the man promptly moved to
    Cambridge.

    In 2 years, the man had finished his doctorate. By
    this time, the man was known throughout the world as
    the leading expert in Quick Wit Retort. Word had even
    reached North Louisiana, which made his mother very
    proud.

    Everyone from Pentagon pundits to Beltway bandits
    consulted the man on technical questions of QWR.

    One day, while sitting at his desk reading his
    hometown newspaper, the man noticed that the circus
    was coming to his hometown again. An evil smile
    crossed the man's face. "Siegfried," cried the man to
    his assistant, "We must be away to North Louisiana.
    Ready the jet!" As the plane crossed the Mississippi
    River, the man savored the moment of victory that was
    to be his.

    The man arrived at the circus tent very early, making
    sure to get the seat in section A, row Y, seat 42.

    Finally, the trapeze artists gave an awe-inspiring
    performance, the elephants danced, and the lion tamer
    tamed. At last, the clowns came out in full regalia
    and green hair. They rode around by the dozen in a
    purple Volkswagen. The Volksie pulled up to center of
    the ring, and an overweight clown with orange hair,
    acne, and a purple nose advanced to the podium:

    "Will the person in section A, row Y, seat 42 please
    stand up?"

    The man glanced at his ticket. This time he was ready.

    Clown sez, "Wellllll, there's the horse's ass, now
    where's the rest of the horse?"

    The man rose to his feet, full of confidence. He
    thrust out his chest and said in the loudest voice you
    can imagine:

    F!!!! YOU, CLOWN!!!!
     
  2. VANMAN

    VANMAN

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    :joker:
    I didn't see it coming
    ~1
     

  3. mrwiggins

    mrwiggins lookout ladies

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  4. Blinky

    Blinky Rocket Surgeon

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    Oh man..I almost choked on my sandwich...
     
  5. betyourlife

    betyourlife on a GLOCK

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    You had me at "once upon a time":upeyes:







































    :tongueout: