The Face Lift

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by njoy4x4, Mar 21, 2005.

  1. njoy4x4


    Likes Received:
    Oct 31, 2004
    A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends $5000 and
    feels pretty good about the results.

    On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before
    leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old
    do you think I am?"

    "About 32," is the reply.

    "I'm exactly 47," the woman says happily.

    A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl
    the very same question. She replies, "I guess about 29."

    "Nope, I'm 47."

    Now, she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on
    her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and
    asks the clerk this burning question.

    The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."

    Again she proudly responds, "I am 47, but, thank you."

    While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man the same

    He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was
    young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very
    forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then I
    can tell you exactly how old you are."

    They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of
    her. She finally blurts out, "What the heck, go ahead." He slips both of his
    hands under her blouse and under her bra and begins to feel around very
    slowly and carefully.

    After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay, old am I?"

    He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says,
    "Madam, you are 47."

    Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you

    The old man replies, "Promise you won't get mad?"

    "No", she says.

    He replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."