The Commando

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by nerfman, Nov 11, 2002.

  1. nerfman


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    Aug 9, 2001
    "The Commando"

    You've encountered The Commando. The Commando is not new, though it is perhaps lacking formal recognition. That ends today, November 11th, 2002.

    The Commando is a type of S.B.D. (Silent But Deadly). It is never "cut", "let", or "ripped". The Commando is "deployed". The Commando has a purpose, a mission. This is the beauty and the essence of The Commando.

    You cannot see The Commando, neither before nor after, and by the time you sense its presence, it is too late. Following the successful completion of its mission, The Commando simply fades away.

    If someone tells you they have experience deploying The Commando, disbelieve them. The Commando is rare. Seldom do the elements of motive and opportunity converge in the presence of a well-defined target. The Commando is not easily contained and does not operate with surgical precision, therefore the intended victim must not be targeted in a crowded area. The risk of collateral damage, detection, and mission compromise are too great. Perfect ambush locations are elevators, stairwells, and office cubicles.

    The next time you get into an elevator, alone, and you detect a certain undeniably malodorous presence, ask yourself this question: "Was I simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, or was I targeted?"