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the bus driver killed the little old lady

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lethal tupperwa, Dec 19, 2003.

  1. lethal tupperwa

    lethal tupperwa

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    Aug 20, 2002
    Location:
    Virginia
    A little old lady is on a bus, buying a ticket from the
    bus conductor, fumbling in a voluminous bag for the
    correct change. After several minutes the conductor
    becomes so enraged that he hits her on the head with the
    ticket-dispenser, and the poor old dear dies instantly.

    Not surprisingly, he is convicted and put on death row.

    Just before he is to be electrocuted, his last request is
    for 12 pounds of bananas, which he devours.

    They strap him into the chair, flip the switch, and he
    just sits there, smiling. According to tradition, this is
    considered a reprieve from God and he is freed.

    Somehow he gets his old job back, and he is happily
    dispensing tickets when he sees a girl stick her gum on
    the back of a seat on the bus. Enraged, he lunges out
    with the ticket dispenser, breaking the offender's neck
    and killing her.

    Again, he is convicted and sent to death row. He again
    eats the 12 pounds of bananas, and lo and behold, the
    electricity does not harm him.

    This time the executioner cleans the contacts, makes him
    sit in a bucket of water, he tries everything - but the
    conductor won't die. So again, he is set free.

    Amazingly he regains his job. It takes him 1 day to lose
    his temper and beat to death a young boy who starts to
    chew his bus ticket. He returns to death row, eats the
    bananas, and survives the electrocution.

    At this point, the executioner can take no more - his
    professional pride has been hurt. Before setting our
    friend free again, he asks him his secret - what is it
    with the bananas?

    "Oh, the bananas have nothing to do with it," replies our
    friend. "I'm just a bad conductor."