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NRA Life Member
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Director of civil unrest
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This one time at band camp..............................
 

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Patrol Corporal
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I’m not sure I understand this thread so if I’m off base, I apologize.

I got this call one time where a woman was at the local crematorium yelling that her father was still alive and about to be cremated. She would not be dissuaded. So the director of the facility allowed us all to go to the back.
We went back to the cooler, got him out, cut the bands on the cardboard box, opened it and unwrapped the thick plastic. He was very obviously deceased, eyes and mouth open and, I swear, lilies on his chest. She leans down and says into his ear “dad? Can you hear me?”
My sergeant was standing at his head at parade rest with his head slightly bowed. I was at the bodies feet. My sergeant looked up at me with his eyes, without moving his head up. It took every bit of self control not to lose my $h!t. You had to know my sergeant.
 

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Mentally Frozen
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I’m not sure I understand this thread so if I’m off base, I apologize.

I got this call one time where a woman was at the local crematorium yelling that her father was still alive and about to be cremated. She would not be dissuaded. So the director of the facility allowed us all to go to the back.
We went back to the cooler, got him out, cut the bands on the cardboard box, opened it and unwrapped the thick plastic. He was very obviously deceased, eyes and mouth open and, I swear, lilies on his chest. She leans down and says into his ear “dad? Can you hear me?”
My sergeant was standing at his head at parade rest with his head slightly bowed. I was at the bodies feet. My sergeant looked up at me with his eyes, without moving his head up. It took every bit of self control not to lose my $h!t. You had to know my sergeant.
Too bad neither of you was a ventriloquist.
 

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Patrol Corporal
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We had another call where the complainant called because they thought someone had been locked in a port-o-Jon on a construction site.

The officer got there and opened the door and an arm was hanging out of the seat hole. He thought “oh crap, someone got killed and dismembered and stuffed in the $hitcan.”
But the guy moaned and said the fumes were making him dizzy.
The FD cut the johnnyhouse open and got the guy out. He was all blue from the toilet chemicals. He climbed in the tank because he thought government agents were chasing him.

If you want more details, jstrange was the responding officer.
 

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Patrol Corporal
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