Ted Kennedy has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, and you'll have to take their place. I'll let YOU decide who leaves." Ted thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened the door to the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed, over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No!" Ted said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day long." The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented Ted. The devil opened a third door. In it, Ted saw Bill Clinton, lying on his back on the floor, arms staked over his head and legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Ted looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said........... "OK, Monica, you're free to go!"