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Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by nipperwolf, Jun 30, 2004.

  1. nipperwolf

    nipperwolf

    Messages:
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    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2002
    Girlfriend 7.0 upgrade

    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
    that
    the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot
    of
    space and valuable resources.

    In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and
    now
    monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night
    10.3,
    Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run,
    crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0
    in the
    background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

    I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall
    doesn't
    work on Wife 1.0. Please help.

    Thanks, Troubled User

    REPLY:
    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people
    upgrade
    from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities
    and
    Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is
    designed by
    its Creator to run EVERYTHING. It is also impossible to delete Wife
    1.0 and
    to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall or purge
    the
    program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to
    Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to disallow this.

    Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings: Alimony/Child Support. I
    recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation.
    I
    suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate
    software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the
    command C:
    APOLOGIZE, because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE
    command
    before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great
    program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes
    with
    several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5,
    and Pay
    Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs.
    Improper
    use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5.

    Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife
    1.0 is
    to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds
    5.0.
    WARNING: DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With
    Short
    Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will
    cause
    irreversible damage to the operating
    system.

    Best of luck, Tech Support