Tax man

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Sep 13, 2007.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Messages:
    64,670
    Likes Received:
    1,553
    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to Audit

    the books of a Synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to

    the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do

    with the candle drippings?"

    "Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back

    to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of

    candles."

    Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual

    question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way:

    "What about all these bread -wafer purchases? What do you do with the

    crumbs?"

    "Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying

    to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send

    them back to the manufactures, and every now and then they send us a

    free box of bread wafers."

    "I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster

    the know - it - all Rabbi.

    "Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover

    foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"

    "Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save

    all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a

    year they send us a complete *****."
     
  2. Ranger.357

    Ranger.357

    Messages:
    787
    Likes Received:
    1
    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Location:
    WA State

  3. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Messages:
    64,670
    Likes Received:
    1,553
    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed
    was nicely made, and everything was picked up.

    Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was
    addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and
    read the letter, with trembling hands.

    "Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I
    had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene
    with Mom and you.

    I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I
    knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings,
    tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older
    than I am.



    But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant.
    Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods,
    and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of
    having many more children.



    Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really hurt
    anyone.
    We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people
    in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

    In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure
    for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!
    Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday,
    I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many
    grandchildren.
    Love, your son, John.

    P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
    wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school
    report that's on my desk. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to
    come home.