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Subject: heaviest element - "Governmentium"

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Blitzer, Feb 28, 2006.

  1. Blitzer

    Blitzer Cool Cat

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    Subject: heaviest element


    A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the
    heaviest element yet known to science.

    The new element has been named "Governmentium". Governmentium has
    one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224
    assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an Atomic mass of 311. These 311
    particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
    surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

    Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.

    However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which
    it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one
    reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take
    less than a second.

    Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay,
    but, instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
    Assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
    Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
    reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
    isodopes.

    This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to
    believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
    quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to
    as "Critical Morass". When catalyzed with money Governmentium becomes
    Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since
    it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.
    :cool: ;e ;f ;z