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Subject: Bad Day At The Office

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lethal tupperwa, Jun 5, 2003.

  1. lethal tupperwa

    lethal tupperwa

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    This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad
    day at work, think of this guy. Bob is a commercial saturation diver for
    Global
    Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling
    rigs.

    Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
    station
    103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job
    experience contest. Needless to say, she won.


    Hi Sue,

    Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad
    day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
    thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
    bad
    after all.

    Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
    few
    technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the
    sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the
    water is
    quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered
    industrial water heater.

    This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats
    it
    to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a
    garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn
    good
    plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I
    get
    to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back
    of
    my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in
    a
    Jacuzzi.

    Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
    So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few
    seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the
    damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water
    machine
    had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

    Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick
    to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched
    what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the
    crack
    of my butt.

    I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.

    His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
    other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the
    dive.

    I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
    totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my
    chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing
    nothing but my
    brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
    laughter
    running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my
    butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
    couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

    So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
    it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to
    yourself,
    "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
     
  2. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    That puts a new lease on things doesnt it;P