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Stock Market Report

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Aug 31, 2005.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Oct 28, 2001
    Muskogee Ok.
    Today's Stock Market Report

    Helium was up
    Feathers were down
    Paper was stationary
    Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading
    Knives were up sharply
    Cows steered into a bull market
    Pencils lost a few points
    Elevators rose
    Escalators continued their slow decline
    Light switches were off
    Mining equipment hit rock bottom
    Diapers remained unchanged
    The market for raisins dried up
    Coco Cola fizzled
    Caterpillar stock inched up a bit
    Balloon prices were inflated
    And, Scott tissue touched a new bottom