Stepparents....

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by jay29, Apr 9, 2010.

  1. jay29

    jay29

    Messages:
    2,160
    Likes Received:
    5
    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2002
    Loyalty. It seems to me there is no loyalty when it comes to stepchildren to their stepparent. I have been around ten years and there is no loyalty to me at all (Three boys, mid-late teens, ten years ago). I get looked upon as a second class person and an outsider. They want nothing to do with me, even though I am married to their mother and treat her and them just fine.

    Anyone else go through the same crap? :frown:
     
  2. DowntimeLA

    DowntimeLA

    Messages:
    1,171
    Likes Received:
    7
    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2008
    i'm not a step parent but i'd bet it has to do with selfishness at that age.
     

  3. Smashy

    Smashy

    Messages:
    12,303
    Likes Received:
    132
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2007
    Location:
    Southwestern Oregon
    For the last sixteen years.
     
  4. skanless

    skanless IPA ISLAND

    Messages:
    2,723
    Likes Received:
    15
    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2009
    Location:
    CA
    Sorry to hear that.
     
  5. racerford

    racerford

    Messages:
    6,198
    Likes Received:
    1,970
    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2003
    Location:
    DFW area
    My mom and stepfather have been married for 45 years. I will probably be sadder when he dies than when my father died. And yes i had contact with and visited my father the whole time after my parents divorced. There was no abuse of me or my mother. While neither was a great dad, my stepfather tried a lot harder and is deserving of my respect and love.

    I was likely an ungrateful jerk as a teen, and I was a good kid.:)
     
  6. B R Y A N

    B R Y A N

    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2009
    Let me ask you somthing! Looking back when you were a kid, if you had a step parent, would you be loyal to them? Would you consider them as one of your own? I mean come on..

    My parents are together, but If had a step parent, I would not respect that person f*&k them..... A step parent will never take the place of a real parent....
     
  7. jay29

    jay29

    Messages:
    2,160
    Likes Received:
    5
    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2002
    Wow. Last one is bailing out of the house when he is done with college. Talk about getting taken for granted! A simple thanks is all that is needed. I cook (because I like to as well) and do his laundry! He is 23 now and I still have HIS car on my car insurance! What do I get? A kick in my teeth. He doesn't give a damn. When he leaves I am locking the door behind him.

    Step parents ought to get a medal.
     
  8. B R Y A N

    B R Y A N

    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2009
    I can see where your coming from. but If hes 23 why is he still on your ins? why is he still at home? dose he pay his way?
     
  9. jay29

    jay29

    Messages:
    2,160
    Likes Received:
    5
    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2002
    I pay everything. His mom (my wife) doesn't even have to work. My job covers everything. He is 23, going to college full time and would get KILLED by insurance rates. He has a part time job and cannot support himself. He pays nothing here and I get no respect. Nothing. He's got it made and doesn't care.
     
  10. jay29

    jay29

    Messages:
    2,160
    Likes Received:
    5
    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2002
    ....I have done far more than his own damn father!
     
  11. WmHBonney

    WmHBonney

    Messages:
    738
    Likes Received:
    26
    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2010
    Location:
    CNY

    Time to close the checkbook.
     
  12. playininthedirt

    playininthedirt

    Messages:
    173
    Likes Received:
    4
    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2009
    My husband is my children's stepdad. He has never tried to take the place of their biological dad, and has never wanted to. He is however more involved in the kid's lives. He makes it a priority to be there for them, any time. Which is more than I can say for their "real Dad" who is there for the kids at his convenience.

    So yeah a step parent will never take the place of a real parent, but don't lump the good SP's in with everyone else, just because 'you' feel that they don't deserve respect.
     
  13. KS Trekker

    KS Trekker That Guy

    Messages:
    306
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2009
    Yep, I'm in the same boat. I married my wife 8 years ago when her daughter was 7 years old. Seems we've never quite bonded and she could care less about me. I partially blame my wife who disagrees with me on discipline issues constantly. Have you adopted her children? If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me.
     
  14. sawgrass

    sawgrass

    Messages:
    3,328
    Likes Received:
    34
    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2009
    My Dad of 45 years and my Step-Dad of 40 years both died last year.
    I grew up with my real Dad, but in the end I knew more about my Step-Dad. We were friends with a lot of mutual respect.

    Have you told your wife how you feel? This is a family issue, not a "step"
    issue. You are all adults.
     
  15. B R Y A N

    B R Y A N

    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2009
    Pleanty of my friends including myself are paying are own way throught collage and life with little to no help. I can be done he just dont wana do it.
     
  16. sawgrass

    sawgrass

    Messages:
    3,328
    Likes Received:
    34
    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2009
    You sound incredibly immature. Respect is about people and how they treat
    each other. If something happened to one of your parents, and the other
    one found someone new who treated them well, couldn't
    you be happy, and treat that person respectfully as long as they treated your parent well?
     
  17. Andy W

    Andy W

    Messages:
    3,812
    Likes Received:
    24
    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2006
    Location:
    Kansas
    Can you adopt me? Just kidding. But seriously, you aren't even his dad so you are doing a lot more than you have to. It sounds like your stepson is just an ungrateful little *******.
     
  18. sopdan

    sopdan

    Messages:
    1,073
    Likes Received:
    170
    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2002
    Location:
    Central KY
    <=== has had a stepmom for 20+ years, and a stepdad for 19. (I'm creeping up on 28 now)

    Short answer: it depends on the situation.

    I lived with my mom, and though I only saw my dad every other weekend while I was growing up, he was (and is still) very present in my life. When my mom remarried, I never viewed my stepdad as a father figure... I already had a dad. He (stepdad) has his good moments, and he has his ****** moments.

    I'd bet my step-bros would say the same thing about my dad. (they also had a loving father) My dad has been nothing short of awesome to me, I think it has a lot to do with the connection that both parties make with each other... and blood may have a lot to do with that in some cases.
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2010
  19. badr1

    badr1

    Messages:
    788
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2006
    Location:
    lancaster, ohio
    You're an idiot. a step parent CHOOSES to be there.
     
  20. Damon Sriv

    Damon Sriv Pickle Power

    Messages:
    218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2003
    I just want to make sure I have this correct. You do his laundry, cook for him, pay his insurance, he lives at home and his mother doesn't work?

    It looks like you bring this on yourself. No one gives respect, it is earned. It looks like you let him run all over you, and you lay down and take it. You cant buy respect.

    The "kid" should be doing his own laundry, cooking his own meals, living on his own and paying his own insurance.

    You dictate how people treat you and the level of respect or disrespect you are willing to put up with.