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# Southern engineer exam

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by bassman-dan, Feb 21, 2005.

1. ### bassman-danNRA Lifer

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Joined:
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Location:
Quagmire, Louisiana
SOUTHERN STATES PROFESSIONAL ENGINEER EXAM

We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people in the South
are.
We challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam administered
by
the "Southern States Professional Engineer Licensing
Department":

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that
will
support a 10-pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on
blocks
in
your front yard? A '65 Ford Fairlane, a '69 Chevrolet, a '67
Chevelle, or
a
'64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20
gallons
of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to
condense
the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 RPM. The
density
of
the pine trees in the plot to be har vested is 470 per acre. The plot
is
2.3
acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many
Budweisers
will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12
simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone
layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2 x 8 pine on 24-inch centers
with a
field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16
feet.
The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch
collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow
with
an
average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his
grown
children put a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough
property
for their electric appliances to sit out front?

8. A 2-to n truck is overloaded and proceeding 9000 yards down a
steep
slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average
traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it
will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

9. A coal mine operates in a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous
Area.
The
mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the
beginning
of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be
smoked
during the shift?

10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per
generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the
Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

2. ### engineer151515

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I always found question 2 pretty difficult.

We only had Mopars in the yard (Hi Okie!)

3. ### NRA_guyUnreconstructed

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Location:
Mississippi, CSA
I can answer number 2: "all of the above". The body rusts around the back glass on every GM car made from about 1965 to 1980. I had several. Everything in the trunk got wet every time it rained.

(I'm a Mississippi State Mechanical Engineer; so I know whereof I speak.)

PS: Here's a real engineering question for you: Why the heck is the value of "e" (the base of natural logarithms) = 2.7182818284590452353 6028747135266249775724709369995...?

4. ### engineer151515

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Joined:
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Thats not an engineering question, thats a MATH question.

The (Chemical) engineering question is "how does that stupid e end up in my reaction rate kinetics equations????"

I think the answer lies in how big a mushroom cloud you can generate when a polymerization reaction gets away from you.

5. ### NRA_guyUnreconstructed

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1
Joined:
Jun 20, 2004
Location:
Mississippi, CSA
Yeah, I guess e is a math thing. (And that's a different e from the one in e=mc^2. Is that what you meant about the mushroom? I'm mechanical, not chemical.)

I finished in 1969 but I help kids with calculus and engineering mechanics and physics and stuff that they don't teach any more in college, but still expect kids to know. I was working dynamics problems last weekend.

The thing about e that I finally realized but have never seen emphasized is this:

e^x is the only equation for which the derivative is the same as the original function: e^x. Remember d(e^x)/dx=e^x

What that means is that if you plot e^x, the value of the function is the same as the slope of the curve at any point.

That is really incredible to me.

Nor is it true for any other constant:

E.g., d(4^x)/dx is not 4^x.

What's really amazing to me is that such a weird number ends up in so many things in nature. I guess it's sort of like pi, except the basis for pi is easier to grasp.

Take care.

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