SOUTHERN STATES PROFESSIONAL ENGINEER EXAM We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people in the South are. We challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam administered by the "Southern States Professional Engineer Licensing Department": 1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum. 2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? A '65 Ford Fairlane, a '69 Chevrolet, a '67 Chevelle, or a '64 Pontiac GTO. 3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product? 4. A woodcutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be har vested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down? 5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer? 6. A front porch is constructed of 2 x 8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed? 7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children put a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front? 8. A 2-to n truck is overloaded and proceeding 9000 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler? 9. A coal mine operates in a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift? 10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

I can answer number 2: "all of the above". The body rusts around the back glass on every GM car made from about 1965 to 1980. I had several. Everything in the trunk got wet every time it rained. (I'm a Mississippi State Mechanical Engineer; so I know whereof I speak.) PS: Here's a real engineering question for you: Why the heck is the value of "e" (the base of natural logarithms) = 2.7182818284590452353 6028747135266249775724709369995...?

Thats not an engineering question, thats a MATH question. The (Chemical) engineering question is "how does that stupid e end up in my reaction rate kinetics equations????" I think the answer lies in how big a mushroom cloud you can generate when a polymerization reaction gets away from you.

Yeah, I guess e is a math thing. (And that's a different e from the one in e=mc^2. Is that what you meant about the mushroom? I'm mechanical, not chemical.) I finished in 1969 but I help kids with calculus and engineering mechanics and physics and stuff that they don't teach any more in college, but still expect kids to know. I was working dynamics problems last weekend. The thing about e that I finally realized but have never seen emphasized is this: e^x is the only equation for which the derivative is the same as the original function: e^x. Remember d(e^x)/dx=e^x What that means is that if you plot e^x, the value of the function is the same as the slope of the curve at any point. That is really incredible to me. Nor is it true for any other constant: E.g., d(4^x)/dx is not 4^x. What's really amazing to me is that such a weird number ends up in so many things in nature. I guess it's sort of like pi, except the basis for pi is easier to grasp. Take care.

good stuff. Oh - rate kinetics uses the exponential "e" value. Some reaction rates rise exponentially - usually refelected as heat output requirements. The most common is associated with polymer (read plastic/resin) production. There have been manufacturing facilities reduced to craters because of the exponential nature of those reactions.