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115 Posts
do you price shop the 2, or go to which ever is more familar & pay whatever price they ask?
Someone close to you dies & 2 funeral homes in town...
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10,896 Posts
Ummm. never had the occasion to do so.
When my Grandmother died, Grandpa had her cremated. Gave the ashes to me. I'm to hold them until his time comes. And spread them as per their wishes. No funeral, no service. Just me(and my wife should I choose to do so)
When my Grandmother died, Grandpa had her cremated. Gave the ashes to me. I'm to hold them until his time comes. And spread them as per their wishes. No funeral, no service. Just me(and my wife should I choose to do so)
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45,279 Posts
Price should be a factor to consider. Remember, a funeral is only for the living, not for the deceased. This is a way for you to show one of two things. Either you think so highly of the deceased that "money is no object", or, You are trying to impress the attendees with your wealth.
Remember, the deceased has nothing to gain by either of the two choices you make.
Remember, the deceased has nothing to gain by either of the two choices you make.
I went through this with my fathers death and the various things he'd said regarding funerals and death over the years had made an impression on me: cheapest pine box available.
Yes, I could have paid a LOT more than I did. And if my dad had been looking down from some other place, he'd have been wholly disappointed in my actions had I spent one penny more than absolutely necessary.
Make the most of the time while they are living. Once they are dead, the train has left the station.
Yes, I could have paid a LOT more than I did. And if my dad had been looking down from some other place, he'd have been wholly disappointed in my actions had I spent one penny more than absolutely necessary.
Make the most of the time while they are living. Once they are dead, the train has left the station.
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9,539 Posts
When a relative of mine died a few years back, we cremated her, held an informal wake in her house with about 30 of the people who knew her best. Later on, her husband held another little get together with just her mom & brothers & sisters, and they poured the ashes into a lake she used to enjoy going to.
The whole thing was a lot more meaningful to all of us than a formalized funeral where a hired preacher who never met her speaks about what a great person she was.
Funeral home charges = 0, except for cremation fees.
A few years later when my brother died we did the same thing again, and I'm glad we did.
The whole thing was a lot more meaningful to all of us than a formalized funeral where a hired preacher who never met her speaks about what a great person she was.
Funeral home charges = 0, except for cremation fees.
A few years later when my brother died we did the same thing again, and I'm glad we did.
That was a fine send off. Hope to do it the same way when my time comes.
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5,589 Posts
I am very sorry for both of your losses as well as the OP's. I will send out prayers for all families involved.
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27,986 Posts
This is a pet peeve of mine.. I think its important for the living to have funeral arrangements made. This keeps your grieving relatives from having to figure this stuff out after your passing. I don't mean this in a morbid way, but when I almost bought it a few years ago, one of the things I thought about in the hospital was how devastated my Mom would be, etc.. and I wouldn't want her spending a ton of money on my funeral. As it is now I've taken care of it and now nobody needs to worry about it. All they have to do is show up and act like they'll miss me.. 
Seriously, I think its something people should think about, young and old. Edit: I agree about using a preacher that knows you, rather than someone preaching a generic funeral. I'm sure our family pastor would step in and handle that role.
IGF
Seriously, I think its something people should think about, young and old. Edit: I agree about using a preacher that knows you, rather than someone preaching a generic funeral. I'm sure our family pastor would step in and handle that role.
IGF
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203 Posts
+1 My brother was killed in a car accident in 2003, we went to the funeral home with the most class (it was right in town too) and it was only about 10% more in the end...didn't care though.
Take care of the task at hand and figure out the money end last, sorry for your loss.
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23,473 Posts
funeral parlors (i dont call them homes, who lives there?) are known for raping the living when they are grief stricken. try to have somebody less attached help you with the funeral decisions.
This is a pet peeve of mine.. I think its important for the living to have funeral arrangements made. This keeps your grieving relatives from having to figure this stuff out after your passing. I don't mean this in a morbid way, but when I almost bought it a few years ago, one of the things I thought about in the hospital was how devastated my Mom would be, etc.. and I wouldn't want her spending a ton of money on my funeral. As it is now I've taken care of it and now nobody needs to worry about it. All they have to do is show up and act like they'll miss me..
Seriously, I think its something people should think about, young and old. Edit: I agree about using a preacher that knows you, rather than someone preaching a generic funeral. I'm sure our family pastor would step in and handle that role.
IGF
Well, I'd be dead. What difference would it make if I wanted a metal casket, but instead they shoved me thru a grinder?
'Drew
QFT.
My family is under strict instructions to cheap it out to the max. I'm going to be dead. I'd rather know, while I'm alive, that when I kick it, they won't go out and blow a wad on some stupid overblown sob-fest.
If anything, they should keep the money they would spend on a funeral and go to Vegas for a weekend.
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11,769 Posts
Always price shop but do it for the service they provide. Good service costs money and is usually worth it.
I'd be happy as could be if my family was allowed to just throw me in the woods for the bears to eat.
I don't see spending money on a funeral AT ALL.
ETA, sorry. I forgot this was from someone specific. But seriously, shop for best price man, it doesn't mean you love the person any less. And sorry for your loss.
I don't see spending money on a funeral AT ALL.
ETA, sorry. I forgot this was from someone specific. But seriously, shop for best price man, it doesn't mean you love the person any less. And sorry for your loss.
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17,391 Posts
When my wife died, I took her to the one to which she had taken her mom. I involved our adult children in discussion of the service, and had a preacher we both knew do the service. Bought a double wide plot close to where her mother and grandmother are buried...but I've told the children to have me cremated and sprinkle the ashes from the observation car on the Cumbres & Toltec Scenic Railroad (CATS RR). They can have my date added to the double wide marker...and drive my would-be grave robber crazy.
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