Some Questions and Answers

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Ranger.357, Oct 1, 2007.

  1. Ranger.357

    Ranger.357

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    Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
    A: The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

    Q: Why did God create alcohol?
    A: So ugly people would have a chance to have sex.

    Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
    A: "Are you sure it's mine?"

    Q: What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
    A: Beer nuts are a $1.25 but deer nuts are always under a buck.

    Q: What three two-letter words denote "small"?
    A: "Is it in?"

    Q: What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
    A: A tick falls off you when you die.

    Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?
    A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

    Q: What do call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
    A: Your Honor.

    Q: What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
    A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

    Q: Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
    A: Mace will do that to you.

    Q: What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman?
    A: Sexual harassment.

    Q: What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
    A: $3.99 a minute.

    Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
    A: A bingo machine.

    Q: What do you call a Florida gynecologist?
    A: A spreader of old wives' tails...

    Q: Why do women prefer old gynecologists?
    A: They have shaky hands!

    Q: What do a Divorce in Alabama, a Tornado in Kansas, and a Hurricane in Florida have in common?
    A: Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.

    Q: Why do chicken coops have two doors?
    A: Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.

    Q: What's the difference between a woman jumping from a building and a virgin?
    A: The woman jumping is trying to die and the virgin is dying to try!

    Q: What's 40 feet long and smells like urine?
    A: A line dance at the old folk's home.

    Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
    A: A prostitute will quit screwing you once you're dead.

    Q: What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and mushy?
    A: Bubble gum.

    Q: What’s the difference between a pig and a fox?
    A: About four drinks.

    Q: What do a meteorologist tracking a snowstorm and a woman’s sex life have in common?
    A: They’re both concerned with how many inches and how long it will last.

    Q: What do you call a man and woman using the rhythm method of birth control?
    A: Parents.

    Q: What's the difference between a brown-noser and a s***-head?
    A: Depth perception.

    Q: What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?
    A: A Klondyke.


    Q: What's the difference between a band that plays at weddings and a bull?
    A: On a bull the horns are in front and the ass**** is in the back.

    Q: What did Captain Hook die from?
    A: Jock itch!

    Q: How is a woman like a laxative?
    A: They both irritate the s*** out of you.

    Q: Why do men die before their wives?
    A: They want to.

    Q: What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull?
    A: Lipstick.

    Q: Why is a woman like a dog turd?
    A: The older it is, the easier it is to pick up.

    Q: What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
    A: Money.

    Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag you, what have you done wrong?
    A: Made her chain too long.