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so lame jokes

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lethal tupperwa, Feb 27, 2004.

  1. lethal tupperwa

    lethal tupperwa

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    These are really, truly lame jokes, real groaners, but hopefully they will
    bring a smile to your face.

    1. Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was assalted.

    2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but
    don't start anything."

    3. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food
    in here."

    4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

    5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A
    beer for me, and one for the road."

    6. Two aerial antennas meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The
    ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was great.

    7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste
    funny to you?"

    8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'" "That
    sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual."

    9. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I
    was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said
    Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

    10. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts. The
    shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

    11. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

    12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is
    there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look
    at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his
    teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down." "What?, Because
    he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."

    13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
    any.

    14. I went to a seafood disco rave last week.... and pulled a mussel.

    15. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in
    the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that "you can't have your kayak
    and heat it too."

    16. What do you call a fish with no eyes?

    ...A fsh