So there is the thread posted asking what the hardest part about being married is. I posted a comment about having your wife or nearly 8 years being pregnant with another man's baby was the hardest part for me. So no, starting out I was not a very good husband. It took me the birth of our son and a few more years to start figuring out how to be a good father and to start learning to be a good husband. To be honest, I'm obviously still not that great of a husband, but I am working on being better. So after 7 years of marriage, my wife and I were still having many of the exact same arguments as we had been ever since before we married. Over the years some of the details had changed, as there were things I was doing differently to try to calm it down, but the underlying issue was always the same. Apparently, I talk too slowly. She tells me she can never figure out when I'm done talking so that she can start. The fact that she starts talking right in the middle of me is rather irritating to me. She can't stand me "yelling." All it takes is a slight change in the tone of my voice or look on my face and she starts off on everything I've done or how badly that I've treated her over the past 7 years. Many of these things are even blatant lies, but that's how she remembers them and trying to argue using facts is a lost cause with her. The things that irritates me the most? people interrupting me, and people telling me that what I said isn't true. Both are great ways to get me to start looking and sounding irritated. That's pretty much the basis of every argument we have ever had. So now how that ties in. She's got a depression issue. She also has issues about instant gratification, that if she doesn't get it she becomes depressed. In a few (or maybe more than a few) of the arguments we have had over the past year, I told her, in anger, that if being with me doesn't make her happy maybe she should go find a boyfriend. Apparently she decided to listen (funny how she only seems to hear me or believe me when it's something damaging to me) and started dating a coworker back in December. Now, this might not have been as big of an issue if she hadn't continued to be intimate with me for another month or more past her relationship with him starting. If she had completely stopped being intimate with me and moved to another room in the house before this started, maybe I could understand her argument that we were no longer together and so it doesn't matter. But she also felt the need to hide it and lie to me about it. In January she told me that this year she was going to change. She also was scheduled to go get birth control but cancelled that and told me the reason was she wasn't going to be having sex with me anyway so she didn't need it. Also in January, she posted some pictures online that she had taken. They were of a coworker. One of them was of her kissing him. She claimed that it was strictly for the picture. I also caught some texts on her phone where her coworker bobby was calling her things like honey and sweety. Her excuse on them was that the guy was gay and they all talk that way in the office. In february she told me she was going to separate from me and eventual divorce. She moved herself to a different room in the house to live in. I begged her for another chance. She agreed to give me another chance. So for 2 full months I managed to do everything "perfectly" (her description, not mine). I asked her multiple times to give me some sort of sign that I was doing the right thing and that it was making a difference. The most she ever gave me was "well I'm still living here aren't I?" So in April we had another big fight. Basically started when I told her I needed some sort of feedback from her, some sort of comfort from her instead of the cold shoulder she was giving to me. I agreed to let her continuing to live in my house until our 6 year old finished school for the year. A month or less later she started asking me questions about what I would do if she did get a boyfriend, and was really trying to get an answer for how I would react. I asked her to her face if she had ever cheated on me. She replied, to my face, "no" 6 weeks ago she came to me and told me to either have unprotected sex and get her pregnant or we were completely done with no more chances. I told her no, but that I would be willing to in a few more months. The next day I sent her a text, basically saying the only reason for a married woman to say things like she did was if they were already pregnant and trying to hide it. Her response was disbelief, to treat me like I was crazy, and make me feel bad about myself for even thinking such a thing. 2 weeks ago she moved into her own apartment. Last thursday she came down to pick up our son to take for the night. She left her purse on the counter. I opened it up to see if her license was there, as I didn't want her driving our son around without it. What I found was a sonogram saying that she was at 10 weeks when it was taken, and that was a little over 2 weeks earlier. This was about 11pm. I gave her a phone call, waking her up. She told me the father was named robert. I asked if it was "bobby" the gay guy from january. She told me it was a different bobby. On Sunday I told here that there was a chance that I could try to forgive her, and that we might be able to work past this, but that both of us would have to put in a lot of effort and she would have to be completely honest with me. She told me she had scheduled an abortion early on, but then cancelled it. I told her that I would still try to take her back whether she decided to keep the baby or not, though I recommended that an abortion might make this process a lot easier. She asked me for 1 week to decide. She came down and stayed with my son on monday night. We talked a little bit, but she told me she wanted to talk to bobby before making her decision. Finally this morning she talked to bobby before work. He has apparently been too busy the past few days and he might have been avoiding her a little bit. He told her that he will move into her apartment and pay the bills for her. That was all she needed to tell me she was done. A little bit after that I showed up at their work, and asked for him. When he came out to meet me I introduced myself with first and last name, and asked if there were any other bobbys that worked there. He said no, he is the only one, and he was the one I was looking for. I had to wait a little longer but we went outside and had a 20 minute chat. He told me that she had let everyone know that me and her were separated, and that's apparently the only reason he was willing to date her. He seemed to genuinely feel bad about finding out my side of the story. Their relationship apparently started in December, so over a full month before she moved to a separate room, and told me she was leaving me. I told him about many of our issues together, and all the things she had been telling me since the beginning of the year. I'm not very good at reading expressions, but It seemed to me like I was giving him a lot to think about. He was very apologetic, and told me that he went through something similar and knows how it feels, and just felt bad about it. He also seemed like he might be having a few second thoughts starting to form, because if she was going to do this to her husband of 7+ years, what was to keep her from doing it to him. He also said that many of the issues that I had with her were things that she was starting to do around him as well. I'm a complete idiot but I told him that if he decided to change his mind, that I had given her until sunday to make her decision, and that I would stick to that. If for some reason he didn't want to support her anymore that I would still make sure she is taken care of. Still being willing to try to take her back and being able to forgive her for what she did to me would be something that is probably well beyond the stupidity of any mere mortal, but if nobody else is supporting her I would still try to, because even with everything she did she is still my wife (for now) and the mother of my son.