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Snappy Answers

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Bannack, May 12, 2003.

  1. Bannack

    Bannack

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    Snappy Answer #1
    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate
    to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended
    her hand for the ticket, and opened his trench coat and
    flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir,
    I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

    Snappy Answer #2
    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
    grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for
    her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys
    get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,
    they're dead."

    Snappy Answer #3
    The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped
    for speeding pulled down his window. "I've been waiting
    for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah,
    well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally
    stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

    Snappy Answer #4
    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign
    comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows
    it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck
    under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally,
    a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and
    walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his
    hips and says, "Got stuck, heh?" The truck driver says,
    "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

    #5, THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR
    A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final
    exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you
    not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear
    attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a
    death in your immediate family but that's it, no other
    excuses whatsoever!" A smart-*** guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was
    suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
    The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter
    and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher
    smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head,
    and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write
    the exam with your other hand."