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Sipping Vodka

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Eddie C., Dec 4, 2002.

  1. Eddie C.

    Eddie C. Administrator Moderator CLM

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    I know we have all heard this one before but this has a couple of new twists so I thought I'd share it with all of you:

    SIPPING VODKA

    A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
    After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return
    to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

    1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

    2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

    3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

    4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

    5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his *ss.

    6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.

    7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Big Daddy, Junior and the Spook.

    8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.

    9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't say he was stoned off his *ss.

    10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."

    11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"

    12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"

    13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yo God.

    14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
     
  2. reptiman

    reptiman Go Ducks

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    That was the funniest thing that I have read in a LOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGGG time! Thanks!
     

  3. .45Ranger

    .45Ranger

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    OMG!!!!!!!! That was soooo wrong and sooooo funny thanks eddie that made my day;a ;a ;a ;a ;c ;c
     
  4. Eddie C.

    Eddie C. Administrator Moderator CLM

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    Thanks .45Ranger and ;2 Happy Birthday to You!;+ ;+ ;V ;Y ;V Hope you had a good one. Eddie.
     
  5. saspic

    saspic Howdy Y'all! CLM

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    Sorry, exactly where is St. Taffy's?