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Single income families

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by u4ea, Jul 19, 2012.

  1. u4ea

    u4ea

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    Any tips for me? The Wife recently quit her job. We have a 4 year old and a 4 month old. She made about the same amount of $$ as daycare would cost, so we decided it wasn't worth it for her to work. Maybe once my youngest is 6 or 7 years old she'll go back to work.

    How many of you on here do this? It's both stressful and rewarding. Just looking for advice and tips on stuff I may not have encountered yet. Thanks.
     
  2. gwalchmai

    gwalchmai Lucky Member

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    Eat out rarely. Drink water instead of soda. Only buy things you really need and can pay cash for. Develop a family habit of going to the library.

    Pretty much just commonsense stuff.
     

  3. mdisher

    mdisher

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    Just live within your means.

    Being a mom to 2 or more children is a full time job. I sure as hell wouldn't want to do it.

    There are lots of things she can do now that she's not working that can help optimize some of the spending. Coupons are huge. Mmy wife saves us a crap load on groceries 'couponing' so that helps. It takes her considerable time, she recently worked it out and it pays her roughly $20-25/hour to cut/sort and organize her coupons based upon what it saves us.

    Good luck.
     
  4. bmoore

    bmoore

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    Don't move to CA, its impossible.
     
  5. CLoft239

    CLoft239 I Like Turtles

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    ^^Pretty much nailed it. My wife and I have 3 children, the youngest being 4 months old. I've managed to provide just fine with an LE job (which everybody knows LE isn't the best paying job).

    Just spend it wisely. Without all the unnecessary spending, I'm still able to pay bills, go on yearly family vacations, and buy a gun or 2 every now and then, so I'm happy. :thumbup:

    Sent from my DROID SPYDER using Xparent Blue Tapatalk 2
     
  6. Rabbi

    Rabbi The Bombdiggity Lifetime Member

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    You gave us a situation without the math. Without the math people can only give you feelings and not real answers. We dont know your situation.
     
  7. jason10mm

    jason10mm NRA-GOA-TSRA

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    Never, EVER, say "why did you spend MY money on this?" It will NOT go well for you :)

    My wife and I have allowances. We put a set amount each paycheck into our individual checking accounts and we can spend it however we wish. Using the joint account is either a joint decision (I give permission for her to use it for a trip to visit her folks, I get permission to but a Big Green Egg) or for specific things, like bills or eating out.

    This way she has "her money" she can spend and you can buy stuff without consulting her, but other purchases are agreed upon. Trust me, if she reads the internet enough or has some bitter divorced friends she will start to think being financially dependent on you is a bad thing and will set her up for welfare hell should you divorce her. Giving her money that she "owns" can off-set this feeling.

    You will also have to step up the reassurance and overt displays of love unless she has the self-esteem of a rock star. Be supportive if she starts to feel more like a burden on you than an asset. One of the great tragedies of the feminism movement is that being a "homemaker" is no longer considered a worthwhile goal, it is something to be mocked, not valued.
     
  8. airmotive

    airmotive Tin Kicker

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    There goes Rabbi with that math thing again.
    Like math gives you answers.:upeyes:
    Not in my world.
    :supergrin:
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2012
  9. CitizenOfDreams

    CitizenOfDreams

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    It does, but those are not the answers people want to hear.
     
  10. shootingrn

    shootingrn

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    We did the same when my kids were small. The only problems we had were more related to household duties. My suggestion, don't come home and say us my dinner ready!


    Sent from my iPhone in the center of my mind.
     
  11. Naelbis

    Naelbis

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    While math can define the economic benefit or sacrifice of supporting a family off one income it cannot quantify the emotional or psychological benefits reaped by having your children raised with a stay at home mother/father. It is a tool in the decision making box, but it is not the only one.
     
  12. VELO

    VELO

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    We've been doing the very same thing since our 3 1/2 year old was born and now have a 7 month old too. It is challenging but totally worth it IMHO.

    We had dinner over the weekend with some friends who both work and have a six month old. Some of the daycare stories they told us were just unfathomable. My wife and I both said after they left that we were so grateful that we didn't have to deal with that stuff.

    All the previous posts are spot on. You just have to be careful where you spend the money. Don't spend what you don't have is key! The advice about breaking off some mad-money for each of you is great too. That's exactly what we do. If I want a new gun, I save my mad-money up for a couple of months and go buy it. She might roll her eyes :upeyes: at me, but it's not out of the family budget so the peace is kept. :supergrin: It's equally important for her to have the same freedom with her mad-money.

    It's really important to acknowledge how hard she will be working each day raising your kids. My wife is a beautiful woman who takes really good care of herself. Some days I'll come home and she's in the same sweatpants that she was in when I left, wearing a t-shirt with spit-up stains and her hair will be a mess. (She'd kill me if she knew I was posting this). Even though you're tired from working all day, those are the days you've got to just give her a big hug, pour her a glass of wine, and say "Baby, thanks for working so hard taking care of our babies. It means so much to me that they have their mommy with them everyday. I've got it from here for tonight. Why don't you go take a bath and relax."

    While changing our lifestyle from DINK to single-income was an incredible challenge. I (and I know my wife would agree) wouldn't have it any other way.

    Good luck!


    /
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2012
  13. Rabbi

    Rabbi The Bombdiggity Lifetime Member

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    That is great and all but doesnt have much to do with this thread.

    The guy has made his choice and now wants information about being a single income family. ....without the math of that situation, it is like a random person asking if they should buy a cheeseburger or a private jet. We simply need real data.
     
  14. Batesmotel

    Batesmotel

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    We both did it at times. I have no regrets about the years I was Mr. Mom. I still found ways to make money from home also. An enterprising spirit with a bit of financial desperation can have great results.

    Look for ways to make money at home.
    Learn to cook, I mean really cook well.
    Use every bit of food. (cook a turkey then make soup from the leftovers)
    More veggies and rice, less meat.
    Make freezer meals ahead of time.
    Take great care of your things, make them last.
    Plan your day, saves trips and gas.
    Fix things yourself instead of paying for repair or replacement.
    Case-lot sales are good.
    Thrift stores for little kid clothes, they outgrow before outwear.
    Water or cool-aid instead of soda.
    Buy clothes out of season. (next years coat at this years end of season sale)
    Ditch cable.
    Cash, not credit.
    Date night at least twice a month. No kids, keep it cheap.

    Basically the things our grandparents did.
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2012
  15. aplcr0331

    aplcr0331

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    Agreed with Rabbi on the math portion. I work in another city away from my family. My wife stays at home with our 3 kids (one is a two year old with some light special needs-speech therapy and surgery to correct birth defect).

    My wife goes to yard sales and thrift shops a lot, but we have a 2011 Ford Explorer and 2012 Kia Forte (great gas mileage for me) while paying rent on a house. My wife and I go to dinner and a movie every payday (keeps our marriage very happy). We eat out every once in a while, save in my 401K, go on vacations once a year but it still feels tight for us from time to time.

    I don't have a lot of toys or "man" stuff, but my wife and kids seem pretty happy.

    We do this on 80K per year.
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2012
  16. VELO

    VELO

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    :goodpost:
     
  17. Rabbi

    Rabbi The Bombdiggity Lifetime Member

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    I would like to add, everyone tends to tell you how to save a buck...why live like that? Who wants to live like that? While it may be the only/practical solution at this time, is that really the direction you want your life to go?

    Reinvent yourself. Go back to school, learn to sell things, get promoted, move, seek a better life.
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2012
  18. VELO

    VELO

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    Do you have kids Rabbi?

    Honest question.
     
  19. Batesmotel

    Batesmotel

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    Big +1.

    Great time to look to new horizons.
     
  20. Rabbi

    Rabbi The Bombdiggity Lifetime Member

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    Yes.
    .