By January 6th you've already read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar. You discover that staring at your cubicle wall long enough produces images of Elvis. You now require only a single can of cola to belch the names of all seven Dwarfs. You decide to see how many Mountain Dews you can drink before the inevitable explosion occurs. People come into your office to borrow pencils from your ceiling. You've figured out a way to get Gilligan off the island. The 4th Division of Paper clips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry, and General White-Out has called for reinforcements.