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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Man, I hated the last shift. 2 unscheduled funeral processions. Its not bad when you can prepare the route, but when dispatch gives you 2 minutes notice its crap.

First call, go to such and such address and the husband and wife, unknown trouble in back yard. Uh oh, what do I have, B&E, prowler, trespass?
Send BU please. Get there, both are standing in front yard pointing to the backyard, "officer, we can't can't stand these groundhogs tearing up our yard anymore, please shoot them". Oh boy. Why me!!:dunno: Explain why I can't and why they can't and what they LEGALLY can do.

Second call, go to such and such address meet the woman about her deer/dear in backyard. "Dispatch, is that deer or dear?" Reply, "unknown".
Mark on scene, you guessed it, dead "deer" in back yard. Why Me!! She asks "What am I going to do about it". Now, seeing it is rather freshly expired, I say " Do you have a large hunting knife,rope and big freezer?" If not, theres nothing I can do since its on private property. She wants to know who to complain to. Go to my unit, get a complaint form, hand to her and say ME. Cleared with "advice given".

Third call, animal on highway. On scene. Dead dog. "Dispatch, why am I here, DOT handles removal of dead animals on highways? Unless you want me cuff it and take it to the regional jail. :faint:

I miss the good ole days of going on crime calls, catching crooks and just being useful.

Why should I have listened to MOM? She wanted me to be an accountant and I woulnd't have to put up with all this crap we do now.:dunno:

Have a nice day:yawn:
 

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We could use an animal control officer here.. Come on out. That way I can go make some stops instead of running back and forth.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Hey guys, I catch the calls. I go out on patrol. It was a bad day. 2 legged animal control maybe:tongueout:
 

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Sissy cop on my shift gets sent to a wreck with a deer. Deer still alive, being a sissy he calls me to shoot it. Everyone wrongly thought our policy required a shotgun be used and I was the guy who always took one, all other cops on the shift being sissies. So I figure I 've had enough of this stuff and I'll just run over and let HIM shoot it with my SG while I explain to him that his pistol is good to go and not to bother me next time.

I'm enroute and a buck springs from the bushes and wipes out my radio car. ****ing marvelous. I call it in and ******** gets on the air "Central, be advised that deer just expired". He brown nosed his way into the traffic department where he could spend all day studying for the Sgt. test. He came out #2 and is a boss now. Oh, he's a firearms instructor and got all the tactical training when we had a response team, which lasted about 6 months.

Karma got him though. He decides he's horney and the whole midlife thing coupled with the battleaxe wife thing is getting to him. So he "steps out". He makes a habbit of hooking up with the same woman. She's the mother of his teen daughter's best friend and they (the husbands and wives) are always getting togeather at basketball practice and games. Well his wife uses that magical sixth sense they have and just pics up on things not being right. She confronts him and he spills the beans. His wife doesn't kick him out, she OWNS him now. It's like he's on work release. Straight to work and straight home. He has to show her copies of all OT slips signed by his LT!
 
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