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Should I give up on my best friend?

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by Averageman, Jul 16, 2012.

  1. Averageman

    Averageman

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    Ok, I have been to combat with this guy, we have been through hell and high water over the 25+ years I have known hin.
    But......
    His Wife is a complete control freak, he has to ask permisson to do anything beyond what is "normal" and he is soooooooo whipped it hurts to watch.
    I asked him for a favor, now this is a guy who I have carried to a Med Evac and his Wife consults a lawyer????
    I asked him to check in on my 16 (going to be 17 y.o. Son in three weeks) while I am gone for 8 weeks.
    Now I have checked with CPS, this is good as far as the State is concerned. Why is his wife such a PITA?
    He has food, shelter, a washer, dryer, maid service and is 2 blocks from 2 grocery stores. Essentially I dont want to take my Son away from walking access to school because he has AP classes and goes in an hour early and stay an hour late.
    Not only does he (my Son) not have a Drivers Licence, he is not comfortable driving and he would drive the most dangerous roads in the county to and fro.
    Beyond all of this, My Son is very attatched to his two dogs that would not stay on his property and very well may cause more than a little damage to his house.
    I am seeing my friends wife ruin any friendship we had because she has already involved a Lawyer and CPS in to the mix.
    I have went to CPS and they say it isn't an issue as long as my Son is mature and behaves.

    WTF???
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2012
  2. Chesafreak

    Chesafreak

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    So... you're telling us all this, but have you talked to him about it and laid it out to him the same way you have for us? You should be asking him this question.
     

  3. Tim151515

    Tim151515 iHeartGuns

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    IDK what it is with dudes in the military that makes them so will and accepting of being treated like that by there wives and gfs. When I was still in, though not to the extreme you were, most of my married friends were essentially controlled by there wives in every aspect of their life...and these are young guys in young marriages with no kids mind you. I don't know how someone can take that kind of treatment. You got me #%)@ed up if you think your going to controll my life.

    But back to you specificly, sorry I dont have the best advice in the world, other than I would NEVER condone "giving up" on a REAL friend. They are hard to come by, especially as you advance in life. Im 25, and have discovered I have 2 friends, everyone else is just an acquantance in my book.
     
  4. tsmo1066

    tsmo1066 Happy Smiley

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    Just for clarification, his wife called a lawyer to check on whether you leaving your 16 year-old at home for 8 weeks is legal???

    Is that accurate?
     
  5. ctrl

    ctrl

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    ^ x2

    and then she called CPS too?

    Seriously. It's time to tell your friend to stay the heck away from you. Make sure to tell him its due to his wife's moronic antics.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2012
  6. Averageman

    Averageman

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    No, it was a CPS Lawyer she invited to dinner after Mass.
    She waited until after I had left to ask the questions.
    I told him she was FOS when he confronted me with this and went to CPS the next day. CPS said said if he was mature and had all available assets it was fine.
    I explained to them the home had a security system, a maid service, plenty of food and money to buy more. My home is two blocks from two grocery stores and 250 yds from his school. I explained he is an honor student, and has no problkem taking care of himself and that I would check in with him daily.
    Pretty much CPS was surprised I came in to see them, they said it's not an issue. I offered to allow them to check in on my Son at anytime while I was gone and they laughed that off.
    All I can say is my B.F.'s Wife is a knee jerk Liberal and wants to control him and now me and my kid.
    Thats a hell of a way to end a 25 + year friendship.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2012
  7. M&P15T

    M&P15T Beard One

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    Not trying to be nosey, but where do you live?

    In the area I grew up in, neighbors and other families that had kids would look in on kids like your son, in that type of situation. Plus, nearby family would help take-up the slack.

    Deciding that your service buddy is the right person to have check in on your kid may be the basis of the issues. Isn't there other people that you could rely on? In fact, if he's such a good friend, why didn't he volunteer to look after your son while you are away? I get that his bizzarro wife is the problem, maybe that means you need to look elsewhere for help.

    I don't see the question as whether or not you should "give up" on your friend because of the influence his wife brings to the table. Rather, it's about understanding your buddy's limitations given her influences. He's still your buddy, you just have to understand he can't help you the way you need him to help you.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2012
  8. cgwahl

    cgwahl Sheriffs a near

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    Yes...if he asks, tell him why.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2012
  9. Averageman

    Averageman

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    Yeah, I know what you mean.
    When he was deployed I have changed tires, fixed thing at the house, etc.
    Hell I have painted half the rooms in his house when he was in a bind and needed help. I even in the end, used vacation time and money to help him.
    I just changed my dinner plans (with them) and have lost any interest in more contact.
    The whole CPS Lawyer thing burned any bridge we might have had.
     
  10. Chesafreak

    Chesafreak

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    If your friendship means anything to you, tell HIM why you're upset with him. Are you ready to write off your friendship without talking to him about it?
     
  11. Averageman

    Averageman

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    Dude we have had this conversation.
    He yelled all of his points,....well all of her points at me on the phone and didnt let me talk. At this point it is all cool.
    My Kid is an honor student, has been a latch key kid since he was too old for daycare, is 6'1" and 210lbs. I doubt there will be an issue, the favor was to stop by and check in. At this point I just hope his hyper active "Mrs Kravits" type Wife isnt going to call CPS or attempt to start her own investigation.
    My Son is a great Kid, never an issue. He has all the neccassary telephone numbers and a cell and land line phone.
    I could give a crap less; but It is sad to see a guy lose his sack to a chick, even if it is to his wife who he has been married to for 25 years.
    F'em if the the turn in to a Liberal girly man.
    I dont need the help.
    BTW the ex is cool with it and even helped with his ticket home.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2012
  12. 427

    427

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    My sister turned an aggressive former conservative Marine into a sits-down-to-pee liberal, girly man. She neutered him and keeps his nuts in her purse. She dominates him, orders him around and he has to ask permission to do anything. He's a willing participant, though. It's tough for me to feel sorry for him.
     
  13. Kawabuggy

    Kawabuggy

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    I think you realize at this point that he is not your friend, and you should immediately break all contact with him. I would instruct your son that if this guy comes around your house while you are away, that he is to immediately call the police, and not open the door for this *** CLOWN.

    I learned a lesson a long time ago about people, and more specifically couples. If one person in a couple is screwed up-they both are. Maybe it was not obvious to you before, but your buddy had problems from the get-go. Now that he has another "psycho" in his life, he is simply allowing her to act out what he feels/sees as rational behavior. Seriously, she crossed a line that should have never come into question. Further, he supports her position in that he was YELLING at you the same things she previously stated.

    I know it is tough, but you need to be the better person, turn your back, and stop all contact with the whack-job family. If they contact you again, explain to them that they are prohibited from coming on to your property, and to stop all contact. Barring that, don't ever contact either of them again. If you go to church with them, as I gather from your post, pray for them. You don't have to be a part of their drama, but you can still pray for them from a distance. They REALLY need it it sounds like.
     
  14. Averageman

    Averageman

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    Well as far as I am concerned I don't have him as a friend anymore.
    As soon as the Lawyer was consulted, well; I am done. To believe I am a negligent parent is one thing, to get a lawyer (unbeknownst to me) in the mix is BullShi+
    I have offered to repair the neighbors fence at my cost and have my Son cut her grass in order for her to check on him daily.
    Thats cheaper than a freindship[.
     
  15. NeverMore1701

    NeverMore1701 Fear no Evil Platinum Member

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    Screw all that, I'd be done.
     
  16. Glocksanity

    Glocksanity

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    C to the u to the....
     
  17. Averageman

    Averageman

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    To the Later...
     
  18. tim12232

    tim12232 Pistolero

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    If he has truly been a friend for that long, I would never ever give up on him. However, friends sometimes need some space to not contact and what have you. Be there to talk in the future, but if things dont ever improve...well just be a friend to him, when he figures out where is head has been!
     
  19. eracer

    eracer Where's my EBT?

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    Dear friend,

    When you get divorced, and that evil creature takes everything from you, come back and talk to me. Like any true friend, I will be there for you.

    But not until then.
     
  20. VC-Racing

    VC-Racing General Flunky

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    Seems your friend has already made the 1st move to end your friendship.

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