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Shortest suspect interview EVER

759 Views 4 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  x_out86
Story sharing time! What's the quickest, easiest, or funniest confession you ever got?

I'll start with a recent one in my county. Victim has his truck broken into two times at night over a few weeks. He puts a motion sensor into the cab with the alarm in his bedroom. Late one night, the alarm goes off so he sneaks out to the driveway and finds mope going through the truck.

Victim then nails the guy over the back with a large piece of lumber. A short fight follows, but the suspect is subdued by the victim. When our first squad arrives, mope has had his hands and feet zip tied together by the victim.

Officer gets statement from victim, then goes to the suspect and asks what happened. His response (direct quote) "stealing sh##, got caught". End of interview.

Let's hear what you've got.
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· Premium Member
CLM #38
10,891 Posts
Caught the perp in a strongarm robbery of an elderly woman about three blocks away. He had some of her identifiable property on her at the time of apprehension. Took him back to the scene for a showup. We stood him outside of a vehicle with totally blacked out windows wherein the lady sat. ID was a no go but it didn't really matter.

As I was placing him in the transport vehicle I told him that he was positively ID'ed. His reply was, and I quote "she couldn't have seen ****. I had a mask on when I jacked her."

Sometimes you catch a break.

· Mr. Awesome
12,685 Posts
"Do you know why I stopped you?" "Because I'm drunk."

· Registered
1,464 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
"Do you know why I stopped you?" "Because I'm drunk."
"How much have you had to drink tonight?"
"I guess, too much."
Glad to know it's not just drunks around here who give out those gems. My favorite drunk:

How much have you drank tonight?
Too much.
Do you think you should be driving?

Field sobriety was a formality at that point.
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