Serious question=racial comment

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by OIF-OEF, Feb 3, 2017.

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  1. OIF-OEF

    OIF-OEF

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    Full disclosure, I am not racist and my greatest fear is being labeled as one.

    I work with five other white people in an office and only one black girl; let's just call her Bridgett. This is an office where everyone is very close to one another, very happy, and we all generally tell each other hello and bye of a morning or afternoon. It truly is a wonderful bunch of folks. There isn't a bad one amongst the group. Bridgett has commented in the past about racial issues in history; we wouldn't argue or question her but rather just listen.

    Well today I wondered in late since a couple of us worked over several hours the night before. I was sitting at my desk and Bridgett walked by. I believe she was surprised to see that I slipped in so she says, "Hey". This simple use of a casual slang greeting does not bother me but I replied, "Hey girl".

    I immediately thought that I may have offended her. She is mid 20's and I am mid 30's. This was a comment I would have made to anyone in our age range. I think her hey kind of triggered me to reply with a really casual greeting. So my questions are:

    Is girl offensive to females the way boy is offensive to black males?

    Should I ask her if she was offended or just act like I didn't think anything of it? Honestly, I didn't when I said it.
     
  2. Glock&KimberLady

    Glock&KimberLady Morior Invictus

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    Unless she acted offended, I wouldn't worry about it.

    Would you have been offended if she'd say, "Hey, boy" to you?

    It's pretty minor as far as things go. If it comes up, just tell her you had a brain fart, oopsie, won't say that again, smile, walk away.

    edit: If it comes up in a negative way, as in, "Why'd you call me 'girl' the other day?", then do the brain fart, oopsie, won't say that again, smile, walk away.
     

  3. collim1

    collim1

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    Short answer no, it's not offensive.

    It was very casual and not appropriate for a formal office environment, but if yall are long time friends and she is not your boss it's no big deal.
     
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  4. el_jewapo

    el_jewapo

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    Good lord man uncuck yourself.
     
  5. jame

    jame I don't even know....what I'm doing here....

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    Shrug it off. What you said doesn't have the slightest thing to do with race, and from my view anyway, it's a pretty common way to informally greet.

    I'd guess that if you were to ask, she'd shrug and be confused by your question.

    Quit worrying about the little stuff. This is minutia.
     
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  6. *ASH*

    *ASH* FURBANITE

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    over thinking , i think it was fine . its like here in nc every drive thru you go thru girl says heres your order hun and my wife dont blink .

    now a man calling a man boy is to much for me or chief . that urks me

    it just depends on who it is and how it is presented .
     
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  7. staylor

    staylor ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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    After the last 8 years of Hussein, being called a racist means absolutely nothing. Fearing being called one is playing into the left's BS.
     
  8. jame

    jame I don't even know....what I'm doing here....

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    Odd how local culture all works it out. I call people "chief" all the time, and it's not uncommon to have someone address me in the same manner.

    As I usually say, you can call me whatever you want as long as you're smiling when you say it.
     
  9. OIF-OEF

    OIF-OEF

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    Thanks, I really don't want to hurt her feelings. She is one of the last people I would want to offend. I figured it was nothing to worry over, and she has not acted offended. Everything was normal throughout the rest of the day.
     
  10. Bruce M

    Bruce M

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    I would like to think that when all is said and done people will make opinions mostly based on how one treats others as opposed to what they say. I realize that is an ideal and not always the way this works, but I am thinking you are not in a jam with her.
     
  11. Dave514

    Dave514

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  12. refugeepj

    refugeepj

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    i usually say "hey little girl, want some candy?"
    always to ladies my age. they ALWAYS laugh.
    i do have a somewhat warped sense of humor.

    trying to worry about being PC will kill you. slow death by worry.
    some people are offended by everything.
    mostly to offend me, a person would need to chew up chicken poop and spit it at me.
    or attack a member of my family.
     
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  13. Random

    Random Banned

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    Chief? Around here people would think you were either being sarcastic or insulting.
     
  14. el_jewapo

    el_jewapo

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    What about boss man? Like, people that are not your subordinates saying "What's up boss man?" Is that racist or what?
     
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  15. napp32

    napp32

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    I don't know whether to laugh or cry that we have reached the point where anyone has to ask a question such as that.
     
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  16. flyover

    flyover

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    You will know she was POd when hear from human resources.
     
  17. Devin

    Devin

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    I think you're thinking into it too much. I really like Morgan Freeman's response when asked how to end racism. "just stop talking about it." Do you view Bridget as your black co-worker or just your co-worker? Stop thinking about it so much, live your life and enjoy the company of good people.

    I recently moved from Utah to South Carolina where there is definitely higher diversity. In Utah you notice when someone is black in the same way you notice a unique hair color. They look different, you notice that, it's no big deal and you move about your day. Here in the South, black skin color is not a unique physical trait so you just process that they are another person.

    I've learned in my relatively short life that if people don't tell you they're offended, it is not worth bothering about whether or not they are. If they tell you they are, apologize and move on.
     
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  18. Borg Warner

    Borg Warner

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    "Is girl offensive to females the way boy is offensive to black males?"

    Not in the least. "Girl" is popular Black slang, Ebonics if you will, and black women often address their female friends as "Girl" even if their friends are white or any other race.

    If you would have asked this person if she had been offended by your remark that would have been more offensive so you were wise in questioning the appropriateness of such a remark. I think that you need to put aside your racial hypersensitivity and just use common sense and practice good manners with all people regardless of their race.
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2017
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  19. kiole

    kiole

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    She probably just thinks you're a huge Ryan Gosling fan.

    Honestly if it came off as weird and awkward as your post, she probably just thought you were an awkward white guy trying to be hip.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2017
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  20. JBnTX

    JBnTX

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    Sounds like you've already contracted a lethal dose of white guilt.
    Grow a pair and quit tiptoeing around and trying not to offend "certain" people.
     
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