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Senior Moments

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockrunner, Jun 5, 2003.

  1. Glockrunner

    Glockrunner HOOYA DEEPSEA

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    Sep 10, 2001
    Location:
    SC
    ROMANCE

    An older couple were lying in bed one night.

    The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

    She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."

    Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

    A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me."

    Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

    Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my neck."

    Angrily, he threw back the covers and got out of bed.

    "Where are you going?" she asked.

    "To get my teeth!"

    *********************************************************

    DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTER

    80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!"

    An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"

    Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."

    *********************************************************

    SENIOR SEX

    Two 90-year-olds had been dating for some time, when the man told the woman, "I think it's time we had sex, don't you agree?"

    The old woman agrees and the two make love that afternoon.

    Afterward, as they are lying in bed, the man thinks to himself, "My word, if I had known that she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle!"

    Meanwhile, the woman was thinking to herself, "My word, if I had known that the old geezer could really get it up, I would have taken off my pantyhose."