A new joke from my boss. He is a quiet ardent democrat. I had to create a reply I sent back to him attached below. It seemed to surprise him. At Phoenix Sky Harbor airport yesterday, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'." When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes." My original Senator Kerry's reply is as follows to my boss, maybe former boss... Reporters asked Senator Kerry about the recent apprehension of an alleged possessor of instruments of Methematical Instruction. Senator Kerry commented he had been to Europe to the very site where the peaceful and respected ancients had begun the ancient sect of al-gebra. The Senator had been humbled at the vast history they observed. He had studied al-gebra and greek as a youth and even applied Archimedes principles on occasion when wearing his hunting hat and winning his purple hearts. He had the highest regard for those who practiced al-gebra in the true spirit the ancient greeks had intended. He had himself studied Archimedes and not abused the principles of al-gebra and created illegal instruments of math instruction, but rather used them to load and unload heavy objects from his boat while in vietnam and cambodia once Christmas. Senator Kerry expressed concern that america's children didn't have the proper funding to buy legal methods of math instruction and promised to increase education funding with specific mention to provide every teacher with an assistant to allow all the children in america to count more fingers and toes.