19 Things To Stop Doing 1. Stop placing all the blame on other people for how they interact with you. To an extent, people treat you the way you want to be treated. A lot of social behavior is cause and effect. Take responsibility for (accept) the fact that you are the only constant variable in your equation. 2. Stop being lazy by being constantly busy. Its easy to be busy. It justifies never having enough time to clean, cook for yourself, go out with friends, meet new people. Realize that every time you give in to your busyness, its you whos making the decision, not the demands of your job. 3. Stop seeking out distractions. You will always be able to find them. 4. Stop trying to get away with work thats good enough. People notice when good enough is how you approach your job. Usually these people will be the same who have the power to promote you, offer you a health insurance plan, and give you more money. They will take your approach into consideration when thinking about you for a raise. 5. Stop allowing yourself to be so comfortable all the time. Coming up with a list of reasons to procrastinate risky, innovative decisions offers more short-term gratification than not procrastinating. But when you stop procrastinating to make a drastic change, your list of reasons to procrastinate becomes a list of ideas about how to better navigate the risk youre taking. 6. Stop identifying yourself as a cliché and start treating yourself as an individual. Constantly checking your life against a prewritten narrative or story of how things should be is a bought-into way of life. Its sort of like renting your identity. It isnt you. You are more nuanced than the narrative you try to fit yourself into, more complex than the story that should be happening. 7. Stop expecting people to be better than they were in high school learn how to deal with it instead. Just because youre out of high school doesnt mean youre out of high school. There will always be people in your life who want what you have, are threatened by who you are, and will ridicule you for doing something that threatens how they see their position in the world. 8. Stop being stingy. If you really care about something, spend your money on it. There is often a notion that you are saving for something. Either clarify what that thing is or start spending your money on things that are important to you. Spend money on road trips. Spend money on healthy food. Spend money on opportunities. Spend money on things youll keep. 9. Stop treating errands as burdens. Instead, use them as time to focus on doing one thing, and doing it right. Errands and chores are essentially rote tasks that allow you time to think. They function to get you away from your phone, the internet, and other distractions. Focus and attention span are difficult things to maintain when youre focused and attentive on X amount of things at any given moment. 10. Stop blaming yourself for being human. Youre fine. Having a little anxiety is fine. Being scared is fine. Your secrets are fine. Youre well-meaning. Youre intelligent. Youre blowing it out of proportion. Youre fine. 11. Stop ignoring the fact that other people have unique perspectives and positions. Start approaching people more thoughtfully. People will appreciate you for deliberately trying to conceive their own perspective and position in the world. It not only creates a basis for empathy and respect, it also primes people to be more open and generous with you. 12. Stop seeking approval so hard. Approach people with the belief that youre a good person. Its normal to want the people around you to like you. But it becomes a self-imposed burden when almost all your behavior toward certain people is designed to constantly reassure you of their approval. 13. Stop considering the same things youve always done as the only options there are. Its unlikely that one of the things youll regret when youre older is not having consumed enough beer in your 20s, or not having bought enough $5 lattes, or not having gone out to brunch enough times, or not having spent enough time on the internet. Fear of missing out is a real, toxic thing. Youve figured out drinking and going out. Youve experimented enough. Youve gotten your fill of internet memes. Figure something else out. 14. Stop rejecting the potential to feel pain. Suffering is a universal constant for sentient beings. It is not unnatural to suffer. Being in a constant state of suffering is bad. But it is often hard to appreciate happiness when theres nothing to compare it to. Rejecting the potential to suffer is unsustainable and unrealistic. 15. Stop approaching adverse situations with anger and frustration. You will always deal with people who want things that seem counter to your interests. There will always be people who threaten to prevent you from getting what you want by trying to get what they want. This is naturally frustrating. Realize that the person youre dealing with is in the same position as you, by seeking out your own interests, you threaten to thwart theirs. It isnt personal youre both just focused on getting different things that happen to seem mutually exclusive. Approach situations like these with reason. Be calm. Dont start off mad, itll only make things more tense. 16. Stop meeting anger with anger. People will make you mad. Your reaction to this might be to try and make them mad. This is something of a first-order reaction. That is, it isnt very thoughtful it may be the first thing youre inclined to do. Try to suppress this reaction. Be thoughtful. Imagine your response said aloud before you say it. If you dont have to respond immediately, dont. 17. Stop agreeing to do things that you know youll never actually do. It doesnt help anyone. To a certain extent, its a social norm to be granted a free pass when you dont do something for someone that you said you were going to do. People notice when you dont follow through, though, especially if its above 50% of the time. 18. Stop buying things you know youll throw away. Invest in friendships that arent parasitic. Spend your time on things that arent distractions. Put your stock in fleeting opportunity. Focus on the important. 19. Stop being afraid.