Q. What did the Michigan graduate say to the Ohio State graduate? A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?" Did you hear about the Wolverine fan who was so upset that the Buckeyes beat Michigan that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out his basement window? It was reported that Michigan head football coach Lloyd Carr will only be dressing twenty players for the Ohio State game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves. Did you hear that the University of Michigan library burned to the ground? All five books in the library were destroyed. The football team was very upset because they hadn't colored in two of them yet. Q: How do you get a Michigan grad off of your front porch? A: Pay him for the pizza. Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Ann Arbor? A: The big green one that says Columbus: 187 Miles Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: an Ohio State grad, a Michigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be out done, the Penn State grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Nittany Lions!" Seeing this the OSU grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Buckeyes!" and pushed the Wolverine off the side of the mountain. Q: What does the average UM student get on his SAT? A: Drool A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a Michigan joke?" The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Michigan grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6 ' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a Michigan grad. The fella next to him is 6 ' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a Michigan grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?" The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."