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Rules

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Oct 13, 2002.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    RULES OF ORDER


    1. I can only please one person per day.
    Today is not your day.
    Tomorrow is not looking good either.

    2. I love deadlines. I especially like
    the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

    3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell
    you how to get along without it.

    4. Accept that some days you are the
    pigeon and some days the statue.

    5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute.
    If he isn't there the first time, chances are you
    won't be needing him again.

    6. I don't have an attitude problem,
    you have a perception problem.

    7. Last night I lay in bed looking up
    at the stars in the sky, and I
    thought to myself, where the heck!
    is the ceiling?

    8. My reality check bounced.

    9. On the keyboard of life, always keep
    one finger on the escape key.

    10. I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.

    11. You are slower than a herd of turtles
    stampeding through peanut butter.

    12. Do not meddle in the affairs of
    dragons, because you are crunchy and
    taste good with ketchup.

    13. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

    14. Never argue with an idiot.
    They drag you down to their level,
    then beat you with experience.

    15. A pat on the back is only a few
    centimetres from a kick in the butt.

    16. Don't be irreplaceable - if you
    can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.


    17. After any salary raise, you will
    have less money at the end of the
    month than you did before.

    18. The more crap you put up with, the
    more crap you are going to get.

    19. You can go anywhere you want if you
    look serious and carry a clipboard.

    20. Eat one live toad the first thing in
    the morning and nothing worse
    will happen to you the rest of the day.

    21. If it wasn't for the last minute,
    nothing would get done.

    22. When you don't know what to do, walk
    fast and look worried.

    23. Following the rules will not get the
    job done.

    24. When confronted by a difficult problem,
    you can solve it more easily by reducing
    it to the question, " How would! the
    Lone Ranger handle this?
     
  2. Eddie C.

    Eddie C. Administrator Moderator CLM

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    Very good okie! Love it! Eddie.;f ;a ;f
     

  3. jhfenton

    jhfenton Evil Marathoner

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    They were funny, but, Eddie, you like every joke. ;)
     
  4. Eddie C.

    Eddie C. Administrator Moderator CLM

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    jhf, I love to laugh and I like to show people I appreciate their going through the trouble to post a joke. They like I, want to brighten everyones day. What's wrong with thanking them and showing you appreciated it and also that you read it. Eddie.:)
     
  5. Eddie C.

    Eddie C. Administrator Moderator CLM

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    Oh Yeah, I love it when people post a response to my jokes even if it's just a happy face.
     
  6. jhfenton

    jhfenton Evil Marathoner

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    Oh, nothing's wrong with it. I was just harassing you as an excuse to bump the thread. :)
     
  7. Eddie C.

    Eddie C. Administrator Moderator CLM

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    I know john just fooling with you.:)