Rude drunk comes into a bar---

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lethal tupperwa, Jan 28, 2003.

  1. lethal tupperwa

    lethal tupperwa

    Likes Received:
    Aug 20, 2002
    Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers
    up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your
    mom's the best sex in town!"

    Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk
    wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.

    Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy,
    and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-et!"

    Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back
    to the far end of the bar.

    Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked

    Finally the guy interrupts. "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"
  2. batt


    Likes Received:
    Dec 17, 2002
    Fort Worth, Texas
    What would you do?

    Question: It is dark and you are walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children after going to the movies. Suddenly, a swarthy, unshaven, 6ft 5in 275lb man dressed in black with a huge knife comes around the corner and runs at you screaming obscenities. You draw your trusty M1911A1 .45 loaded with eight 230 grain hollowpoints and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?

    Liberal/California Answer:

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Is it possible he'd be happy with killing just me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to discuss this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.

    Conservative Answer: BANG!

    TEXAS Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!.... (sounds of magazine being ejected, a loaded one inserted and the slide slamming forward into battery.)
    Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"
    Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..." BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    Daughter: "Nice shot group Daddy!"