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Revised 'You know it's gonna be a bad day when..'

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by mhambi, Nov 20, 2002.

  1. mhambi

    mhambi κολασμένος

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    ... your tongue has bees.
    ... the weather forecast is, “raining gnats and hogs.”
    ... workers in radiation suits are taping off your property.
    ... contractions send you into labor early, but you’re a six year-old boy.
    ... every lie you’ve ever told was tattooed on your skin overnight.
    ... you woke up in Pauly Shores’ body.
    ... you’ve sprained your aura.
    ... the Scientologists are onto you.
    ... historians are writing you out.
    ... your ceiling has been replaced by a pulsating mass of flesh, and your family is already succumbing to the Hive Mind.
    ... you wake up in heaven, but God has no recollection of making you.
    ... you don’t recall being a polydactyl.
    ... you finally contact your spirit guide. It’s Tor Johnson.
    ... your ***** has relocated itself — on someone else.
    ... that darn projectile leprosy is acting up again.
    ... your birthday bash pictures are ready at Walmart, and now you’re wanted for questioning.
    ... your pets are wearing fedoras and planning a heist.
    ... the NSA has linked your computer to the al Qaida network.
    ... your new linguistics professor is Ozzy Osbourne.
    ... your colon has mastered the power of speech.
    ... coffee was declared illegal the previous night.
    (from www.davezilla.com)

    feel free to add.
     
  2. Steve Koski

    Steve Koski Got Insurance? Millennium Member

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    That's a bad day all right, about any of those.
     

  3. mjs

    mjs

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    ... you read several annoying posts on GT, you go to add the jerk to your ignore list, but can't because you're  "mjs." ;g