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Rescuing the Miners

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by allanc, Aug 22, 2002.

  1. allanc

    allanc "Inconceivable"

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    A Committee composed of Senators Daschle, Clinton, and Feinstein have
    announced that the rescue of the Pennsylvania coal miners has been
    repealed,
    and the miners will, by recommendation of the Committee, be placed back in
    the mine. The Senators noted the following violations in the rescue
    process:

    10. Heavy diesel equipment was moved to the rescue site without concern
    for
    possible air pollution.

    9. Water was pumped out of the mine without first determining if it was
    polluted, or providing an environmentally safe catchment area for the
    water.

    8. Numerous holes were drilled in the ground during the rescue, without
    first
    performing an Environmental Impact study.

    7. No effort was made to ensure racial, ethnic, and sexual diversity of
    the
    rescue workers.

    6. The Governor of Pennsylvania was heard to "Thank God" during a live
    television broadcast of the rescue, violating the separation of church and
    state.

    5. Several people at this public, government supported, rescue mentioned
    praying.

    4. The trapped miners did not represent a diversified cross section of
    American society.

    3. Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Hillary Clinton were not given
    sufficient
    time to make speeches at the site.

    2. The Senate was not given sufficient time to determine whether or not
    any
    Republican office holder owned stock in the coal company, thus being
    responsible for the conspiracy that caused the mine to flood.

    And Number 1: No one mentioned that Al Gore invented mine rescues.

    "Once a diversified group of miners has been chosen and placed back into
    the
    mine shaft, the holes will be sealed, the water will be returned to the
    mine,
    and the rescue will then be undertaken again, in an environmentally and
    politically correct manner", the Committee noted.

    ( And for you Palm Beach Democrats, this is called "satire.")
     
  2. schoolkoi

    schoolkoi

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