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Republican vs. Dem response to attacker...

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Menehune, Jun 28, 2004.

  1. Menehune

    Menehune

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    Middle GA
    As the Presidential Campaign begins to swing into full force, here is a way of determining who is a Democrat and who is a Republican, oh.. and the Texan.

    How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and Texans (of either party)?

    Pose the following question to find out:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, aises the knife, and charges, abviously intent on killing your entire family.

    You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
    What do you do?
    >----------------------------------------------------------------------

    Democrat Answer:

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Do I have time to discuss it with them?

    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? Is he stronger than me? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Do I have time? Why is this street so deserted?

    We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------

    Republican Answer:

    BANG!
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------

    Texan's Answer:
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! CLICK 'snap/slide/click'....(sounds of reloading).

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

    BANG! CLICK, CLICK, CLICK.

    Daughter of the Texan: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or the Hornady Moly-Coated Hollow Points??"