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remember the guy that liked snow then ended up trying to kill the snowplow driver?

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lethal tupperwa, Jun 5, 2004.

  1. lethal tupperwa

    lethal tupperwa

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    Location:
    Virginia
    He moved to

    Arizona

    If you remember the email that had the guy who went from loving the snow to
    hating the snow, this should be funny too:

    May 30th: Just moved to Arizona. Now this is a state that knows how to
    live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is
    beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

    June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
    air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see
    the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

    June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of
    cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me.
    Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

    July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get
    used to this kind of heat? At least its kind of windy though. But getting
    used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

    July 15th: Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60%
    of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my
    lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

    July 20th: I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this
    morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and
    swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the upholstery. The
    car now smells like Kibbles and ****s. I learned my lesson though. No more
    pets in this heat.

    July 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And
    it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC
    repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order
    parts.

    July 30th: Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now. $225,000
    house and I can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

    Aug. 4th: It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It
    cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.

    Aug. 8th: If another wise *** cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going
    to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is
    boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

    Aug. 9th: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat
    on the seats in the car, I thought my *** was on fire. I lost 2 layers of
    flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ***. Now my car smells
    like burnt hair, fried ***, and baked cat.

    Aug 10th: The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and
    sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do **** for 2 damn
    months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't
    it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700
    worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't live
    in this damn heat.

    Aug. 14th: Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Forgot to crack
    the window and blew the damn windshield of the car.

    The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My sister
    had to spend $1500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Arizona. What kind of a
    sick demented idiot would want to live here??

    Will write later to let you know how the trial goes."
     
  2. CanadianGlockFan

    CanadianGlockFan

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    LOL. ;z I'll have to send that to my brother in Phoenix.
     

  3. HAVOC

    HAVOC Remember CLM Millennium Member

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    100° on June 14th? What is that? Celsius? Musta been one of those freak summer thunderstorm days. Was 109° yesterday...


    But I guess it's a dry heat... ;Q



    But then, so is an oven.