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"Rednecks"

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockdude1, Jun 24, 2006.

  1. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1 Federal Member CLM

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    You know you're a redneck when...

    1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

    2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly
    swatter.

    3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

    4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

    5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high
    dive.

    6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

    7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they
    don't want it.

    8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

    9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

    10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

    11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

    12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

    13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

    14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

    15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

    16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

    17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

    18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

    19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so
    clean.

    20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

    21. You consider your license plate personalized because your
    father made it.

    22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

    23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool
    Whip" on the side.

    24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

    25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

    26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

    27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of
    improvements.

    28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

    29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

    30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

    :cool:
     
  2. Steve Koski

    Steve Koski Got Insurance? Millennium Member

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    Good list! Thanks GD.
     

  3. SomeDay

    SomeDay

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    When I used to do my three hour commutes to work at 11-12 at night, Jeff Foxworthy was what kept me awake. Laughing worked better than loud music.
     
  4. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1 Federal Member CLM

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    3 hours of driving? At todays gas prices, that would hurt the ole pocket book!

    :cool:
     
  5. SomeDay

    SomeDay

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    That's one of the reasons why I stopped. My wife didn't want to move to Lancaster, so I had to move back down to San Diego. With prices the way they are now, I don't think I would have lasted one month, let alone over two years!