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Redneck Birth Control

  1. A week after their marriage, the redneck newlyweds, Ed and Arlene, paid a visit to their doctor.

    "You ain't gonna believe this, Doc," said the husband. "My thingy's turnin' blue."

    "That's pretty unusual," said the doctor. "Let me examine you."

    The doctor takes a look. Sure enough, the redneck's "thingy" really was blue.

    The doctor turns to the wife, "Are you using the diaphragm that I prescribed for you?"

    "Yep, shore am," she replied brightly.

    "And what kind of jelly are you using with it?"

    "Grape", she said.