Red Rory o' th' Glen

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Eric, Feb 2, 2005.

  1. Eric

    Eric Big Giant Head Staff Member Admin Silver Member

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    Jan 1, 1970
    The story is told of the English Regiment marching through
    the Highlands of Scotland (when English Regiments were wont to
    do such). As they passed through a very narrow defile, a voice
    mocked them from above.

    "I'm Red Rory of the Glen," the voice called. "And I challenge you!
    Send up your best man."

    The Colonel of the Regiment looked up to the hilltop and beheld the
    BIGGEST Scot he had ever seen. His kilt-girthed form must have stood
    7 foot and the Claymore in his hand would dwarf most men.

    Again the challenge echoed across the hills. "I'm Red Rory of the Glen
    and I challenge you! If anyone amongst you would dare to call himself
    ``Champion'', then send him up!"

    The Colonel, unwilling to let this challenge to the flower of English
    Soldiery pass unanswered, called over his Adjunct. "Major," he seethed,
    "send up the Regiment's champion. I want this Scot's head!"

    And so the Champion went forth. Up the hill he strode, confidence
    in every step, to do battle with this Challenger. The Challenger
    roared his mirth and stepped over the crest, out of site; the Champion
    followed. Soon the sounds of battle rolled over the hill and the
    Regiment waited. And then, THUMP Thump thump.... A head! Rolling down
    the hill came a head. And then, from the hilltop, came the rumble of
    the Challenger's laughter. "I'm Red Rory of the Glen! Again I challenge
    you! Send up your best Squad!"

    "Major," shouted the Colonel! "This cannot be stood! Send up the best
    Squad." Up the hill forged the Squad, then over the crest to face the
    Challenger. Soon the sounds of battle were heard again and then THUMP
    THUMP THUMP Thump Thump thump! The heads of the squad came rolling down
    the hill.

    "I'm Red Rory of the Glen," came the voice, "and I challenge you! Send up
    your best company!"

    Rage contorted the Colonel's face as he screamed, "Major! Send up
    Company C. I want that man's head and I want it now!" "Yes, sir," was
    the only response, and soon Company C was advancing up the hill. Again,
    from over the crest, came the sounds of terrible battle but this time,
    floating above them, came the sound of the Challenger's laughter!

    Slowly, the sounds of battle died away but still the laughter continued.
    And then, from the top of the hill, came a avalanche of heads to pile
    up around the Colonel's feet.

    "I'm Red Rory of the Glen, and I challenge you! I have beaten the best
    you have to send, now come yourself!"

    "Major," said the Colonel, his rage now turned icy cold. "Take the
    Regiment up that hill and destroy him! I don't want anyone to return
    without his head!"

    So, in good form, the Regiment marched up the hill and out of the sight
    of the Colonel waiting at the bottom of the hill. This time the battle
    raged for hours. Then as the sun sank into the hills, the Adjunct came
    hurtling down the hill, his uniform disarrayed and splattered with
    blood. His eyes spoke books of terror. "Colonel," he screamed, his
    terror edging his voice with panic, "RUN, it's an ambush! There's two
    of them!"
  2. joegerardi

    joegerardi Lifetime Member Millennium Member

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    May 18, 1999
    Savannah, GA, USA
    A pleasure to see you down in my neck o' the woods. You don't come slumming very often.